**Unwelcome Guests**
The phone jolted Valerie awake at five in the morning. An unknown number flashed on the screen.
“Yes?” she muttered dryly.
“Val, darling?” A loud, cheerful womans voice burst through. “Is that you?”
“It is,” Valerie replied flatly.
“Its me!” the woman trilled. “Do you recognise me?”
“I do,” Valerie lied politely, though she hadnt the faintest idea who it was.
“I knew youd remember straight away!” the woman gushed. “So glad I caught you. Can you talk now?”
“I can.”
“Brilliant! My husband, the kids, and I are already at the stationgot off the train an hour ago. Can you hear me alright?”
“Perfectly.”
“You sound a bit quiet. Are you sure youre all right, Val?”
“Never better.”
“Oh, Im so pleased for you! We were going to book a hotel at firstthought we had no family in town. Then we remembered you! See what I mean?”
“I see.”
“Marvellous, isnt it? Youve no idea how thrilled we wereespecially the kids.”
“I can imagine.”
“My husband said straight off, Ring Valerie. She wont let us down.”
“He was right. I wont.”
“So youll let us stay with you? Have I got that right?”
“Right. You can stay.”
“We wont be long,” the woman chirped. “Just a fortnightsee the sights, then back home. You know what they say: theres no place like home. Agreed?”
“Agreed.”
“We knew youd say yes! Especially my husband. He said, No chance Val would turn us awaywere family, after all. Distant, mind you, and we havent seen each other in ten years, but stillfamily. Right?”
“Right.”
“You live alone now?”
“Alone.”
“In a three-bed flat?”
“Yes.”
“So well come straight over?”
“Come over.”
“Well be there in an hour. You still at the same place?”
“Still here.”
“Wait for us, then! Were on our way.”
“Ill wait,” Valerie answered.
She hung up, dropped the phone on the nightstand, rolled over, and pulled the duvet over her head, utterly unconcerned that she still hadnt a clue who shed just spoken to.
An hour later, the doorbell rang. Valerie glanced at the clock, shut her eyes, and turned away. The phone rang again. She slept on.
Eventually, fists pounded the door. Valerie remained indifferent. Finally, the phone buzzed once more.
“Yes?” she mumbled, eyes still closed.
“Val, sweetheart?” The same womans voice rang out.
“Yes.”
“Its us! Were here! Ringing and knocking, but youre not answering!”
“Youre ringing?”
“Yes!”
“Why cant I hear you?”
“No idea.”
“Try again.”
The doorbell chimed inside the flat.
“Were ringing,” the woman announced.
“No,” Valerie said, “I dont hear it. Try knocking.”
A thud echoed through the door.
“Were knocking!”
“No,” Valerie sighed, “still nothing.”
“Blimey, Im all in a tizzy,” the woman fretted.
“What?”
“Where *are* you, Val?”
“What dyou mean, where? At home.”
“Wheres home?”
“Manchester,” Valerie said, plucking the first city that came to mind. “Where else?”
“*Manchester?* Why not London?”
“Moved nine years ago. Right after the divorce.”
“Why?”
“Why the divorce?”
“Why the move?”
“Got sick of London. Too many bad memories.”
“Manchesters better?”
“Course. Miles better.”
“Whats better?”
“Everything. Whatever I do. No rotten memories. But why am I explaining? Come see for yourself. How many of you are there?”
“Four. Me, my husband, and the two kids. The eldest is Paul, the youngestAndy. Andys trying for uni *again* this year.”
“All four of you, thencome along. Weve a cracking uni here too.”
“When should we come?”
“Now, if you like.”
“Cant do now. Loads to sort in London. Andys dead set on studying there. We came up to sort jobs, actuallyplanned to stay with you a whole year. But look how its turned out.”
“So not coming today?”
“Afraid not.”
“Pity. Id got everything ready.”
“Were gutted, honestly. Youve no idea.”
“I think I have.”
“No, you *dont*. When I think whats ahead of us nowI could just cry.”
Valerie decided it was time to end it.
“Right then,” she said. “If you cant make it now, come when you can. Always happy to see you. Once youre settled in London, send me your addressIll pop round for a fortnight. See how it goes. After all, youre all Ive got there now. Deal? Youll send the address?”
But Valerie never heard the answerthe line went dead.
**Lesson learned:** Sometimes, a little white lie saves you a fortnight of chaos. And Manchester? Lovely this time of year.
