**”So, a marriage certificate really is stronger than just living together, eh?”** The men in the pub laughed at Nadines expense.
**”Im not going to the thirty-year reunionIll get depressed. Let the ones who go every year deal with it. They dont even notice how much theyve changed,”** Nadine snapped into the phone when her only friend, Margaret, called.
**”Whats got you so scared? We saw each other five years ago, and you looked fine. Have you put on weight or something?”** Margarets voice was sharp with curiosity.
**”Thats not the point! I just dont want to go, Rita, drop it!”**
Nadine nearly hung up, hoping Margaret would take the hint and move down her list of calls. But this time, her friend clung to her like a stubborn shadow.
**”Nadine, our numbers are already thinning.”**
**”What, has someone died?”** A cold dread gripped her. She didnt feel *that* oldsurely their classmates werent dropping off yet.
**”No, nothing like that. Some just left the country. Though we did lose Andrew Bushtwenty-five years ago now, still young. I told you about him.”**
**”Stop being difficult. Its the whole yearfour groups, but only thirty people will show. Didnt you finally marry off your son? Take a night off.”**
Margaret kept talking, but Nadines mind wandered back to Andrew. Dark circles under his eyes, a heavy gazethe lads in their group had called him weak.
Turned out, it was his heart. Hed dreamed of building a grand suspension bridge in his hometown but never got the chance. And what had *she* done?
Fallen for Ian, a foreman at the construction site where she worked after graduation. He was always on rotation, vanishing back to his own life between shifts.
Theyd dated for years. He even introduced her as his wife, swearing civil partnerships were the truest form of love. **”No certificate neededjust devotion.”**
Then she found out she was pregnant.
Ian never returned from his last shift.
Three children. A sick wife. He quit without a word.
Nadine left too, before anyone could guess why. The men still joked as she walked out:
**”So, a marriage certificate *is* stronger than just shacking up?”**
She didnt care. A neighbour got her a job at the corner shoptwo days a week, even after the baby came.
Her mother agreed to watch little Daniel but never let her forget: **”I raised you better! Dragged myself through your education, and *this* is what you give me?”**
**”Like mother, like daughter. What did you expect?”** The words slipped out. She regretted them instantly.
They clung to each other, weeping, but what good did it do?
So when Margaret called about the five-year reunion, Nadine didnt go.
Theyd brag about careers, families, flash photos. She scrubbed floors in three placeswhat was there to say?
Or ratherwhat would they say to *her*?
Daniel was her only solace.
When he started school, her mother declared her duty done and fled to her sisters village. **”The city airs rotten. I need space.”**
Then, unexpectedly, luck turned.
A part-time engineering jobher actual degree. She balanced it, fetching Daniel from after-school club, even earning envy from other mothers.
A colleague flirted. She shut it down. No strange men near her son.
By the time Daniel grew up, shed clawed her way to a full salary.
But she still felt hollow. No bright clothes, no dye for her greying hair.
She didnt *deserve* happiness. Not after loving a married man, nearly stealing a father from three children.
Better to stay invisible.
Daniel, thoughgrateful, kind. Summers in the village, digging potatoes, stacking firewood. Her mother softened: **”At least youve got *him*.”**
Now Margarets voice crackled through the phone:
**”Friday, three PM. The café opposite the old dorm. Come onIve no one else to talk to.”**
Something in her tone made Nadine agree.
She regretted it instantly.
Staring in the mirror, she dialled to cancelbut the line stayed busy.
That evening, she pulled out the blue dress Daniel had bought for his wedding. His wife, Natalie, had dragged her through shops, insisting.
**”Youre *beautiful*,”** Natalie had whispered in the salon as they dyed her roots.
A year later, the grey was back. No one to impress.
Still, she styled her hair, dabbed on lipstickthen wiped it off. Too bold.
The café buzzed. Margaret spotted her instantly. **”Nadine! Youre *stunning*!”**
They talked. Music from their student days played.
**”May I have this dance?”**
She looked up*Alex*. From the parallel group. Married in third year. Shed fancied him once.
**”Youre still so lovely,”** he murmured as they danced. **”I didnt recognise anyonejust you.”**
Later, walking her home: **”Ive been divorced for years. If youre free?”**
They met again the next day. And the next.
At their wedding, Natalie helped pick her dress, whispering: **”Youre *radiant*. Happiness isnt just for the young.”**
At the reception, Nadine looked at Alexher *husband*and smiled.
Maybe, just maybe, she was allowed this.
Finally, she forgave herself.
