**Diary Entry A Mothers Choice**
*”Forty-one and having a baby!”* my husband shouted at me. *”Women your age are grandmothers, Emily. Dont be ridiculous.”*
Fine. I know he thinks Im being foolish. But has he even considered the child? *”I dont want to be hobbling around with a walking frame at her wedding!”*
And what if something happens to us while shes still young? *”Sort this out. Or Ill leave you.”*
Emily and Robert had been married twenty years. Shed married him fresh out of university, barely more than a girl. All this time, shed believed he was her rock, her protector. Never had she imagined hed turn against her.
The argument had erupted over an unexpected late pregnancy. Robert was adamantno more children.
*”Emily, have you lost your mind? Deciding to be a mother now? Weve got three wonderful boysJames is at uni, and Oliver and Henry are finishing Year 9. Isnt that enough?”*
*”What will the boys think? That weve gone mad?”*
*”Robert, Ive always dreamed of a daughter,”* Emily insisted. *”If Gods sent this child, why shouldnt she be born?”*
*”And if its another boy, do we keep trying for a girl?”* he snapped.
*”I just know its a girl.”*
Even the boys disapproved. When the twinsOliver and Henryheard, they flatly refused to share their room. James, the eldest, was cautious.
*”Mum, arent you scared at your age? What if something goes wrong?”*
*”Itll be fine,”* Emily reassured him. *”Im not that old!”*
This wasnt the first time. When shed been pregnant with the twins, Robert had been just as reluctant. James was three then, money was tight, and they lived with Roberts parents. Emily had clashed constantly with her mother-in-law.
But when the doctor announced twins, everything changed. His mother gave Robert the deposit for their own flat. He became more attentive. Against all odds, Oliver and Henry were calm babiesEmily even managed to sleep. James adored having brothers to play with, giving her moments of respite.
This time, she hoped life would magically fall into place again.
By the third week, though, trouble began. She felt ill at work. For over a decade, Emily had been a nail technician, used to the chemical smells of polishes and oils. Now, just the sight of brightly colored bottles made her nauseous. Pills didnt help. She had to quit.
Too weak to wash dishes, let alone clean, she lay in bed all day. They had to order takeawaysomething Robert and the boys resented.
With her income gone, money was tight. Robert, a paramedic, worked double shifts. James switched to evening classes, taking a daytime job at an electronics shop.
Every day, Emily saw the disapproval in their eyes. Even her parents didnt support her. *”Its too late, too dangerous,”* they said.
Neighbors whispered behind her back in the lift. She felt small.
At her second-trimester scan, the doctor studied the monitor intently, murmuring numbers to the nurse. Emily lay perfectly still, afraid to breathe.
After half an hour, she finally asked, *”Doctorboy or girl?”*
*”A girl. But theres an issue.”*
*”Whats wrong?”*
*”Dont panic, but I must tell you. The baby has a neural tube defecta serious condition.”*
At 23 weeks, the tube should be closed. Hers wasnt. *”She could be disabled.”*
Emily burst into tears. *”Cant you help her? Arent there treatments?”*
The doctor looked away.
Dazed, she walked the hospital corridors, time standing still. She barely registered the drive home. Sitting in the car, she sobbed.
After composing herself, she went inside. Robert was home, reheating dinner, watching the news. The boys were out.
*”Nows the time,”* she thought.
*”I had the scan today,”* she began. *”Its a girl. But theres a problem.”*
*”What problem?”*
*”A neural tube defect.”*
*”What did Dr. Harris say?”*
*”Nothing They suggested termination. I refused. I couldnt, Robert. Shes still our daughter!”*
*”Youre insane! Do you even understand what this means? She could be severely disabledif she survives at all. Were going back tomorrow. Ill get the referral myself.”*
*”I wont go. Dont ask me to.”*
*”Then dont expect my help! I wont watch you sufferor that child!”*
He stormed off, yanked a duffel bag from the wardrobe, and started packing.
*”Robert, what are you doing? Youre leaving? Running away? Shes yours too!”*
*”I wont indulge this. Think of the boys! Have you ever seen a child like that? My mum had a baby after meborn with a heart defect. He lived six months. I still remember the horror. She never wanted more kids. I wont go through it. And Im taking the boys.”*
He grabbed his coat and left.
Roberts mother, Margaret, was stunned when he turned up on her doorstep.
*”Whats happened? A row with Emily?”*
*”More than that. Shes insisting on keeping a disabled child. My opinion means nothing.”*
*”Robert, a mother and child are one. Its her decision. Have some tea.”*
He sat heavily. *”Mum would you have had Daniel if youd known?”*
*”Of course! I hoped till the end. They couldnt do heart surgery back then. And what if the scans wrong? Has Dr. Harris never made a mistake?”*
Robert remembered a neighbor last yeartold her baby had a heart defect, yet the boy was born perfectly healthy. Complaints about Dr. Harris werent rare.
The next morning, Robert went to the clinic. The ultrasound room was locked. The nurse explained*”The machines broken. Third time this month. The consultants furiousthey bought a cheap one.”*
Doubt gnawed at him. An old colleague worked at a private clinic. Hed take Emily there.
She didnt expect him home.
*”Get ready,”* he said curtly. *”Were going private.”*
At the clinic, the scan was quick. The doctor studied the screen.
*”All normal. Shes developing perfectly. Would you like to hear her heartbeat?”*
They nodded. Robert cried. Emily asked about the first diagnosis.
*”They said her neural tube wasnt closed.”*
*”It is. Shes healthy. Heres the report.”*
Relief washed over them. Robert hugged her.
Emily had more scansall clear.
Their daughter, Charlotte, was born perfectly healthy. Friends and family whod urged termination now cooed over her.
*”She looks just like you,”* Margaret told Robert, cradling her granddaughter. *”Look at those blue eyes. Im proud of you.”*
Robert adored her, spending every free moment with her.
*”Fancy watching telly with me?”* Emily teased. *”Or is it all Charlotte, all the time?”*
*”Later,”* hed say, grinning. *”Weve got important business, havent we, sweetheart?”*
Even the boyswhod sworn they didnt need a baby sisterset up a rota for pushing her pram. Emily trusted them completely. Charlotte was safe in their hands.
