“So, a marriage certificate really is stronger than just living together, eh?” The blokes at work had teased Nadine.
“Im not going to the thirty-year uni reunionIll just end up depressed. Let the people who go every year deal with it. They dont notice how much theyve changed,” Nadine snapped into the phone when her only friend, Margaret, rang.
“Whats got you so scared? We met up five years ago, and you looked fine. Have you put on weight or something?” Margaret sounded genuinely puzzled.
“Its not about thatI just dont want to go, alright? Drop it, Rita!”
Nadine was about to hang up, hoping Margaret would take the hint and move on to the next name on her list. But this time, her friend clung on stubbornly.
“Nadine, our groups already thinning out as it is.”
“What, has someone passed?” Nadine couldnt help a shudder. She didnt consider herself old, but not so young that her classmates were starting to drop off.
“No, dont be morbidjust, some have moved abroad. Though, remember Andrew Bush? Died twenty-five years ago, still young. Ive told you about him before.”
“Stop making excuses. Our whole years meeting upfour groups, but only thirty people in total. Didnt you finally get your son married? Come on, treat yourself for once.”
Margaret kept talking, but Nadines mind drifted back to Andrew Bush. Hed always had dark circles under his eyes and a heavy stare, and the lads in their group had called him weak.
Turned out Andrew had a weak heart. He studied hard, dreamed of building a beautiful suspension bridge in his hometownbut never got the chance. And what had she accomplished, Nadine wondered.
Shed fallen for Ian, a foreman on the construction site where she worked after graduation. He was on rotation in their town before heading back home. They dated for ageshe even called her his wife in front of everyone. Said civil partnerships were the real proof of love. That people stayed together not because of a certificate, but because they wanted to
Then Nadine found out she was pregnantjust as Ian didnt show up for his next shift. Turned out he had three kids and a sick wife. He quit without even telling her.
Nadine couldnt bring herself to demand anything from a man with three children and an ill spouse. So she left the job too, before anyone noticed. Though one of the lads had joked on her last day
“So, a marriage certificate really is stronger than just living together, eh?”
She didnt care anymore. She got a job at a corner shop near her flat, arranged by a neighbour. They agreed shed work two days a week, even after the baby came.
Her mother agreed to look after little Timthough not without a lecture. “I raised you better than this! I worked my fingers to the bone to put you through uni, and you throw it all away?”
“Like mother, like daughterwhat did you expect?” Nadine shot back, instantly regretting it. They hugged and cried, but what was the point?
So when Margaret called about the five-year reunion, Nadine didnt go. Theyd all be bragging about families and careers, showing off photos, while she scrubbed floors in three different placesthe flats, the school, the nursery. What did she have to say to them? Or rather, what did they have to say to her?
But for Tim, shed have done anything. He was her only joy.
Especially after her mother, once Tim started nursery, declared her duty done and moved to her sisters village for the “fresh air.”
Then, out of nowhere, luck struck. Nadine got a part-time job in her field. Tim had just started school, and suddenly, she could manage everythingeven picking him up after club. Other mums envied her.
A coworker started flirting, but she shut him down fast. A stranger in her sons life? No. A father couldnt be replaced, and she didnt need the hassle.
Nadine surprised herself at work. By the time Tim was older, she was earning well, even landed a full-time engineering role.
But she never felt good enoughalways worn down. Dressed plainly, never dyed her hair. After forty, the grey started showing.
She didnt deserve happiness, not after what shed donenearly stealing a father from three kids. No bright clothes, no standing out. Thatd just invite trouble.
And shed stopped believing in happy endings. Half her friends were divorcedwhat made her any better?
But Tim grew up grateful. Her sacrifices hadnt spoiled him. He spent summers with Granny Irene and her sister, helping with the gardendigging, planting, chopping wood.
Even her mother admitted now”Youre lucky, having a son like him.”
So what use was a café reunion thirty years on?
All these familiar thoughts flashed through Nadines mind in seconds before Margarets voice snapped her back.
“So, you remember? Café opposite the old halls, next Friday at three. Come on, I need someone to talk to. Youll come, wont you?”
Something in Margarets tone cracked. Without thinking, Nadine said, “Fine. Ill be there.”
She hung up and immediately regretted it. She checked the mirror, then rang backbut Margarets line was busy.
Later that night, she pulled out the blue dress Tim had bought for his wedding. He and Natasha had dragged her shopping, made her try on endless outfits.
The blue one won. They got her shoes, even took her to a salon for a cut and colour.
That was a year ago. Tim and Natasha were happy in their own place now.
Nadines roots had grown out again. Who was there to impress?
Still, she styled her hair, slipped on the blue dress hanging in her wardrobe. Dabbed on lipstickthen wiped it off. Too bold.
The café was packed when she arrived. Margaret spotted her instantly. “Nadine! You look gorgeous!”
Margaret had filled out a bit, but it suited hermade her look younger.
They chatted, but soon Margaret got pulled away. Nadine sipped juice, people-watched, listened to the musicold hits from their student days.
“May I have this dance?”
Nadine looked up. Alex Searlefrom the parallel group. Married in third year. Shed fancied him back then.
“Nadine, youre stunning. First time Ive come to a reunionI dont recognise anyone, but I knew you straight away.”
He held out a hand. She took it, catching Margarets surprised glance as they danced.
They didnt speak. Later, walking her home, Alex said, “Ive been divorced for years. If youve got someone waiting, Ill just see you to your door.”
He did. Then they met again the next dayand never parted.
Natasha helped Nadine pick her wedding dress, already rounding with Nadines first grandchild.
“Youre beautiful, Nadine,” Natasha whispered. “Youre allowed to be happy at any age, you know.”
Sitting at the wedding reception, Nadine glanced at her husband, Alex, and smiled.
Maybe she really was.
After all this time, shed finally forgiven herselfand let herself be happy.
