I never loved my wife, and I told her so more than once. It wasnt her faultwe got along well enough. She never made a fuss, never criticised me, always kind and thoughtful. But the problem remained: there was no love.
Every morning, I woke up dreaming of leaving. I wanted to find a woman I could truly love. But I never imagined how fate would turn everything upside down.
With Emily, I was comfortable. Not only did she keep the house spotless, but she was also radiant. My mates envied me, baffled at how Id landed such a catch.
Frankly, so was I. What had I done to deserve her love? Im just an ordinary bloke, nothing special. And yet, she adored me. How?
Her devotion haunted me. Worse still was the thought that if I left, someone else would take my placesomeone richer, handsomer, more successful. The idea of her with another man drove me mad. She was mine, even if Id never loved her. Possession outweighed reason. But could I spend a lifetime with someone I didnt love? I thought I could. I was wrong.
“Tomorrow, Ill tell her everything,” I decided before bed. Over breakfast, I mustered my courage.
“Emily, sit down. We need to talk.”
“Of course, darling. What is it?”
“Imagine we divorce. I leave, we live apart…”
Emily laughed. “What a funny thought! Is this a game?”
“Hear me out. Im serious.”
“Alright, Im imagining. Then what?”
“Answer honestlywould you find someone else if I left?”
“James, whats got into you? Why are you thinking of leaving?”
“Because I dont love you. I never have.”
“What? Youre joking. I dont understand.”
“I want to go, but I cant. The thought of you with someone else wont leave me alone.”
Emily paused, then replied calmly, “I wont find anyone better than you, so dont worry. LeaveI wont be with anyone else.”
“You promise?”
“Absolutely,” Emily assured me.
“Wait… where would I even go?”
“Youve got nowhere?”
“No, weve always been together. I suppose Id have to stay close,” I said glumly.
“Dont fret,” Emily said. “After the divorce, well swap the flat for two smaller ones.”
“Really? I didnt expect you to help me like this. Why would you?”
“Because I love you. When you love someone, you dont hold them against their will.”
Months passed, and we divorced. Soon after, I discovered Emily hadnt kept her promise. Shed found another man, and the flats shed inherited from her gran? Never meant to share them. I ended up with nothing.
How can I trust women now? No idea.
What do you make of Jamess behaviour?
