**Diary Entry – 12th May, 2024**
I never loved my wife, and I told her so many times. It wasnt her faultwe got on well enough. She never made a fuss, never blamed me for anythingalways kind, always thoughtful. But the truth remained: there was no love.
Every morning, I woke with the thought of leaving. I dreamed of finding a woman I could truly love. But I never imagined how fate would turn everything upside down.
With Emma, I was comfortable. Not only did she keep the house perfectly, but she was radiant. My mates envied me, baffled at how Id landed such a catch.
Truthfully, I didnt understand it either. Im an ordinary bloke, nothing special compared to others. Yet she loved me How was that possible?
Her devotion haunted me. What tormented me more was the idea that if I left, someone else would take my placesomeone wealthier, more charming, more successful.
The thought of her with another man drove me mad. She was mine, even if Id never loved her. That sense of possession was stronger than reason. But could I spend my whole life with someone I didnt love? I thought I couldI was wrong.
“Tomorrow, Ill tell her everything,” I decided before bed. The next morning over breakfast, I gathered my courage.
“Emma, sit down. We need to talk.”
“Of course, love. Whats on your mind?”
“Imagine if we divorced. I leave, we live apart…”
Emma laughed. “What a strange idea! Is this a game?”
“Hear me out. Im serious.”
“Alright, fine. Im imagining it. What then?”
“Answer honestlywould you find someone else if I left?”
“James, whats got into you? Why are you thinking about leaving?”
“Because I dont love you. I never have.”
“What? Youre joking, right? I dont understand.”
“I want to go, but I cant. The thought of you with someone else it eats at me.”
Emma paused, then replied calmly, “I wont find anyone better than you, so dont worry. GoI wont be with anyone else.”
“You promise?”
“Of course,” she assured me.
“Waitbut where would I even go?”
“Nowhere?”
“No, weve always been together. I suppose Id have to stay nearby,” I said gloomily.
“Dont fret,” Emma replied. “After the divorce, well swap the flat for two smaller ones.”
“Really? I didnt expect you to help me like this. Why would you?”
“Because I love you. When you love someone, you dont hold them against their will.”
A few months passed, and we divorced. Not long after, I found out Emma hadnt kept her word. Shed found another man, and the flats she inherited from her grandmother? She never meant to share them. I ended up with nothing.
How can I trust women now? Ive no idea.
What do you make of Jamess behaviour?
