At 65, my husband and I have come to realise our children no longer rely on us. How do we accept this and begin living for ourselves?
Im 65 now, and for the first time, its dawned on methe three children we poured our lives into have moved on without us. We gave them our time, energy, and every penny we had, only for them to leave us behind. My son, James, doesnt even pick up when I ring. Sometimes I wonderwill any of them care for us when were too old to manage?
I married at 25. William was my university sweetheart, and he pursued me relentlessly, even switching courses to stay near me. A year after our simple wedding, I fell pregnant, and our eldest, Charlotte, arrived. William dropped out to work while I took a break from studies.
Those years were tough. He worked endlessly, and I juggled motherhood with finishing my degree. Two years later, I was expecting again. I switched to part-time studies, and William took on extra shifts to keep us afloat.
Somehow, we raised two childrenCharlotte and James. When Charlotte started school, I finally landed a job in my field. Life eased a littleWilliam secured a stable position with decent pay, and we bought our own home. Just as we caught our breath, I discovered I was pregnant again.
Our youngest, Eleanor, brought fresh challenges. William worked harder than ever, while I focused on raising her. It wasnt easy, but we found our footing. When Eleanor began primary school, I felt relief at last.
But life wasnt done testing us. Charlotte announced her engagement during her first year at university. We didnt objectwed married young too. The wedding and helping her buy a flat drained our savings.
James wanted his own place next. We couldnt refuse, so we took out another mortgage for his flat. Luckily, he landed a well-paid job soon after.
When Eleanor finished sixth form, she set her sights on studying in America. It stretched us thin, but we scraped together the fees. She left, and the house fell silent.
Now, the visits grow fewer. Charlotte, though she lives in London, rarely drops by. James moved to Manchester and hardly calls. Eleanor stayed abroad after graduation.
We gave them everythingour youth, our money, our devotionand in return, weve become an afterthought. We dont ask for financial help. We just want a phone call, a visit, a kind word.
But perhaps thats too much to expect. Maybe, at 65, its time to stop waiting and finally live for ourselves. Havent we earned that much?
