**Diary Entry 21st June**
I cant fathom where this jealousy of yours comes from. Truly, I cant. Every day since we started seeing each other, its been nothing but accusations. Theres always suspicion in your eyes.
*James, whats this?* Emily demanded sharply, holding up a shirt. *This pink stainsomeones lipstick, is it? So, you were working late again?*
*Emily, what are you on about?* I sighed, sorting through my work bag. *I just got off shift. What lipstick? The only woman in my department is Nurse Margaret. Honestly Im exhausted.*
Emily pursed her lips, crumpled the shirt, and stormed off to the bathroom. I dragged a hand down my face.
Wed been together six months now. On paper, everything was perfectexcept for one thing. Emily was possessive. She found reasons to doubt me where none existed.
*Look at this,* she groaned to her sister later, thrusting the shirt at her. *Hes definitely cheating. I know it.*
CharlotteEmilys sisterexamined the stain, sniffed it, then laughed.
*Why are you laughing?* Emily scowled.
*Its jam. Strawberry, by the smell.*
Emily snatched the shirt back, sniffed it herself, and froze. Confusion flickered across her face.
*You need to relax,* Charlotte said. *I dont get why youre so paranoid.*
Emily sank onto the sofa opposite her. *We didnt just *start* dating. I took him from someone else. He *cheated* on his ex with me. At first, I thought hed never leave *me* but then I realisedhe would. Easily.*
*Thats no excuse to accuse him now. Youve got to trust him.*
*I *do* trust him,* Emily insisted. *I just cant stand the thought of losing him.*
Charlotte shook her head, at a loss.
*Where *were* you?* Emily folded her arms when I got home at 1 AM.
I exhaled. *You *told* me to go out with the lads. We watched the match, had a pint. Whats the problem?*
*Tom got back ages agoI rang Sophie. Where were you those last two hours?*
*Tom left early for his missus. Just me and Chris stayed. Emily, *please*. Im going to bed.*
I trudged upstairs, desperate to forget her endless suspicion. I just wanted peacelike we used to have. But Emily, as always, ruined it.
Then came the final straw.
Emily was walking home from Tesco, glued to her phone, when she glanced across the streetand gasped. There I was, some blonde draped over me, laughing as I pulled her into a hug.
Her vision blurred. She dropped her shopping and charged at us, yanking the girl away.
*I *knew* it!* she shrieked. *You *lying* cheat! All this time!*
I stared at her, jaw tight. The blondemy *cousin*looked mortified.
*Emily*
*Dont you *dare* speak to me!*
*This is *Lucy*. My *cousin*.* My voice was ice. *Aunt Dianes daughter. Youve *met* her. Now go home. Well talk there.*
Emily went pale. Muttered an apology to Lucy and left.
I came home late that night, furious.
*James*
*Im done,* I cut her off. *Every day, its something. You accuse me of cheating with patients, nurses, *lampposts*. Im *exhausted*.*
*No!* She grabbed my hands, tears streaming. *I *love* you! Ill change, I swear!*
I *did* love her. Enough to end a five-year relationship for her. But this? It wasnt living.
For a few months, things were better. Then autumn hit, work got busy, and the late nights started again.
Emilys doubts returned. She sniffed my shirts, tracked my movements. Then one night, I caught her *going through my phone*.
*Emily what are you doing?*
She flinched, tossing it aside. *Just needed to make a call.*
I nodded at *her* phonefully chargedon the bed.
*Right. And the lies keep coming.*
She begged. Swore shed change. But I packed my things anyway.
*I love you,* I said as she sobbed. *But this isnt love. Its *prison*.*
**Lesson learned:** Distrust *always* destroys love, no matter how strong. Maybe Emily feared Id betray her like I did my ex. But *she* chose me. *She* picked a man capable of that. And without trust? Theres *nothing*. That was her mistakeand mine, for staying so long.
