“Olivia, love, whats the matteryoure not happy to see me?” Her mother-in-law, Margaret, planted her hands on her hips, announcing her plan to move in with the young couple during her home renovations.
“And who knows how long itll take? A month, maybe sixdepends if I like it here! Renovations, you know how it is No need to rush!”
Olivia had put in so much effort to convince her husband, James, to live separately from his parents. The first few months after the wedding, hed flat-out refused to leave the family home.
“Liv, whats the issue? Weve got our own room, no one bothers uswhy waste money on rent?”
“James, are you serious? Your mumno offencehas no boundaries! Yesterday she barged into the bathroom while I was showering, left the door wide open, yanked the curtain, and shouted, Like I havent seen it all before!”
James just laughed. “Mums always been like that. Lives alone, never locks doors. Just hang in therethe flat sale should go through soon. Buyers needed a couple more months to get the full amount. Once its done, well buy our own place. Why rent now?”
Olivia endured it. Margaret was relentlessalways speaking before thinking.
“You could stand to lose a bit of weight, love,” Margaret would say every morning. “Those love handles arent doing you any favours. When I got married, I was only seven stone. Jamess dad could wrap his hands around my waist!”
“I wonder what made you let yourself go, then,” Olivia muttered under her breath. “Honestly, who says these things? God, just let us move out already!”
Finally, the flat sold, they pooled their savingsincluding Olivias parents giftand bought a house. Olivia left Margarets with tears of joy. Freedom at last.
But peace didnt last. Margaret, missing her son, started inviting herself over.
“James, pleasejust one weekend without your mum?” Olivia begged. “I cant take her chatter. Three hours in, and my ears are ringing! She never just talksshe demands responses!”
“Liv, what do you expect? I open the door and say, Great, see you later? Shed be crushed. And shes all Ive gotno other family left.”
When Olivia got pregnant, Margaret doubled down. With too much free time, she shadowed Oliviashopping, doctor visits, even ultrasounds.
“Thats my grandbaby!” shed beam at the sonographer. “Print an extra photoI want one for my album!”
Before the birth, Olivia finally confronted her. “Margaret, I know you mean well, but pleaseno unsolicited advice on parenting. I wont tolerate it.”
Margaret sulked but backed offfor once.
Then baby Emily arrived. Margaret showed up unannounced with distant relatives in tow. No one was readyJames had just brought Olivia and the baby home.
“Knew it,” Margaret grumbled, squeezing in with grocery bags. “Told you, Brendashouldve stopped at Tesco! They werent expecting us!”
“Mum, you couldve called!” James groaned. “Whos cooking now?”
“Dont backchat your mother,” Margaret snapped. “Well handle it. Wheres Olivia?”
“Asleep. Hospital was exhausting. And Emilys nappingkeep it down.”
Four years in, Olivia had endured plentybut nothing prepared her for the renovation scheme.
“James, love,” Margaret called one day, “these faded walls depress me. Find me a contractor.”
“Sure, Mum. Why the sudden urge?”
“Time for a change! Ill stay with you while its done. Move Emilys daybedIll room with her.”
Olivia nearly lost it. “Why us? Lets rent her a flatIll pay! I cant survive this!”
“Suggesting that would wound her forever,” James sighed. “Ill hurry the workers. Two weeks, tops.”
Two months later, Margaret was still there. Olivia grilled James daily.
“Mum found defectsclaims the paints off. Made them redo it!”
“Shes dragging this out on purpose! Living like a queenbreakfast orders, hour-long showers, three-hour phone marathons. Then she critiques my cooking! Im losing my mind!”
“Just hang on. Im exhausted too. But we cant kick her out.”
Margaret wasnt leaving.
Then, inspiration struck.
“Youre lucky to have me,” Margaret mused. “My mother-in-law was a nightmarecouldnt stand her!”
Olivia lit up. The only cure for a meddling mother-in-law? An even fiercer one. She rang Jamess grandmother, Edith.
“Edith, Im desperate. Margarets taken over. Weve eaten scrambled eggs daily for four monthsJames hates them!”
“Since he was a boy!” Edith gasped.
“Now he gulps them down because Mum says!”
“Right. Ill be there. Sons driving me. Heavy artillerys coming!”
Margaret, oblivious, was mid-lecture when the doorbell rang.
“Whos visiting without James? Ill tell him!” She flung the door openand froze.
“Good Lord, Margaretyouve aged! My ex was your age, and hes held up better. Saw a coat by the bins earlierjust like the one you wore when you first came over!”
Margaret paled.
“Well? Move! Put the kettle on, and hands off the cakesugars bad at your age!”
Within an hour, Margaret fled, tossing clothes into a suitcase. “Must supervise the workerstheyre slacking!”
Olivia laughed. “Edith, youre a lifesaver!”
“Oh, Margarets always been a clingy one. Like a burronce she latches on, good luck shaking her off!”
Margaret figured out whod orchestrated her nightmare. She stewed for months before relearning mannerslike calling ahead.
Olivia never forgot Ediths rescue. Some battles required an expert.
