My Daughter and I Have a ‘Code Word’ – Why Yesterday Proved You Need One Too
This morning’s events reminded me why having a secret phrase matters when it comes to keeping children safe.
When I was young, my mum taught me a special word to use if I ever needed help but couldn’t say so outright. Now, I’ve passed that same safety trick to my daughter. I assumed she might use it to dodge a dull playdate or a tedious family gathering—never dreaming she’d need it so urgently.
Yesterday began like any ordinary Sunday—or so it seemed. As I tidied up after breakfast, my phone rang. It was my ex-husband, James. Our once-close bond had frayed over time, as divorces often do. We stayed civil for our daughter, Emily, but tension lingered.
“Hello, Sarah,” James began, his voice uncertain. “Emily’s asking to speak with you. She’s been eager to tell you about her weekend.”
This surprised me. Emily usually adored her time with her dad and rarely called during visits. “Oh, alright—put her on,” I said, keeping my tone light, though unease prickled at me.
“Mummy!” Emily’s voice was bright, but something felt off. Beneath her usual chatter, I detected a tightness.
“Hello, love! How’s your weekend?” I asked, forcing cheerfulness.
“It’s been fun! We went to the playground yesterday, and today I drew pictures—a cat, a flower, and… I really wish I had a purple crayon to draw blackberries.”
My breath caught. *Blackberries.* Our code word. Heart pounding, I kept my voice steady. “Sounds lovely, darling. I’ll pop round to fetch you. Don’t mention it to Daddy—I’ll explain when I arrive.”
“Anything else you want to tell me?”
“No, that’s all,” she replied sweetly, but I heard the fear beneath.
“See you soon, alright?”
“Alright, Mummy. Love you.”
“Love you too, Em.” Her giggle as I hung up didn’t ease my shaking hands. What could be wrong? James had always been a devoted father. Still, I grabbed my keys and drove straight over.
When I knocked, a woman I didn’t recognise answered. She frowned, arms crossed.
“Help you?” she asked sharply.
“I’m here for Emily. Is James in?”
“He’s just nipped to the shops. Who are you?”
“Sarah. Emily’s mother,” I said evenly. “And you?”
Her lips thinned. “Nicole. James’s girlfriend. We’ve been staying together a fortnight.”
I stiffened, stunned. James had never mentioned her. Why hadn’t Emily said anything? But questions could wait—I needed my daughter.
“Actually, I just remembered Emily’s got a dentist appointment Monday,” I lied smoothly. “Need to prep some forms. I’ll bring her back later.”
Nicole scoffed but stepped aside. “Fine. He’ll hear about this.”
Inside, Emily sat on the rug, clutching her colouring book. Her smile when she saw me didn’t hide the relief in her eyes.
“Time for that dentist chat, poppet,” I said lightly.
She scrambled up without a word. Nicole glared as we left. Once in the car, Emily burst into tears.
“Nicole’s horrid when Dad’s not here,” she sobbed. “Says I’m a nuisance and locks me in my room. She told me Dad won’t believe me.”
Rage burned in my chest. How dare this stranger bully my child?
“You were so brave to tell me,” I murmured, stroking her hair. “You won’t see her again if you don’t want to. I’ll sort this with Dad, alright?”
She nodded, sniffling.
At home, I cuddled her tight before calling James. He picked up, baffled.
“Sarah? Nicole said you took Emily?”
“She used our code word, James,” I said, voice low. “Nicole’s been cruel to her when you’re gone.”
A pause. “That can’t be—Nicole wouldn’t—”
“She did. Emily was terrified.”
His sigh crackled down the line. “Christ. I’ll deal with it.”
“Good. Emily comes first.”
After hanging up, I slumped onto the sofa, drained. The code word had saved her. That evening, I resolved to get Emily a mobile—a direct lifeline to me.
This ordeal proved why every family needs a code word. Choose wisely: skip everyday terms like “football” or “holiday.” Pick something unusual—maybe “starry hedgehog” or “jumping daffodils.” Practise using it so your child knows it by heart.
A simple word can be a lifeline. I pray no parent ever needs it—but if they do, it might just save the day.
*Inspired by true events, though names and details have been altered for privacy.*
