*”How could you let your ex-mother-in-law see your daughter? Have you no pride?”*
Last week, my little girl turned two. We had a small celebration with just a few close people. Her father—my ex-husband—didn’t even remember her birthday. No call, no message, nothing. But his mother, my former mother-in-law, phoned ahead and said she’d like to come and wish her granddaughter a happy birthday. I thought, *What’s the harm?* She arrived with a gift—a stuffed toy, some sweets, and an envelope with money inside. We went to the park together, had a nice stroll. But when we got home… that’s when the real disaster started, *says 30-year-old Emma, her voice shaking.*
*”What happened?”*
*”My mum saw me with Evelyn and completely lost it. She started screaming that I’d shamed the family, that I had no self-respect. ‘How could you let that woman near your child?’ She said I should’ve thrown her ‘pathetic gifts’ back in her face and slammed the door on her.”*
*”She actually complained about the presents?”*
*”Yes! The toy was cheap, the chocolates were unhealthy, and she could’ve given more money. She went on about it all night! Said I was practically throwing myself at my ex-mother-in-law’s feet, that I’d welcomed the ‘wicked old witch’ into my home like nothing had happened—as if I’d forgotten how she’d kicked me out without a penny.”*
Emma divorced a year ago. Her husband wasn’t cut out for family life. When things got tough—sleepless nights, a crying baby, money struggles—he gave up. Decided it was easier, cheaper, and quieter to live without a wife and child. He packed his things and left without a word. The flat was in his mother’s name, and Emma was simply told to go.
*”I didn’t even understand what was happening. It was like someone had flipped a switch. Where was I supposed to go? What was I supposed to do? I was in complete shock.”*
Her mother-in-law’s solicitor handled the divorce. There was nothing to split—the flat and car were in his parents’ names, and he owned nothing officially. Even his child support payments are barely enough. Emma didn’t have the strength to fight for more in court. She was too exhausted, too broken.
*”I only asked for one thing—to stay in the flat until my maternity leave ended. I didn’t want to go back to my mum’s—she’s difficult, harsh. But Evelyn refused. Said I wasn’t the first daughter-in-law she’d dealt with and that her home wasn’t a hotel.”*
Still, before Emma left, Evelyn helped with the move—hired movers, packed her things, even arranged for them to be taken to her mother’s house. She told Emma to take whatever she needed, but Emma only took what was hers. She didn’t want to owe anyone anything.
For the past eight months, Emma and her little girl have been living in a tiny one-bedroom flat with her mother. The child support barely covers nappies. Neither her ex-husband nor his family have shown any interest in the child—no calls, no messages. Only Evelyn, the ex-mother-in-law, occasionally asks how the little girl is doing.
*”I didn’t want a fight. That’s why I agreed to meet her on neutral ground—the park.” Emma sighs. “I knew Mum would be against it, but I hoped she’d understand. No such luck.”*
*”She didn’t just get angry. She nearly threw me out. Called me a traitor. Said if I was so fond of them, I should go live with my ex’s family. ‘You can’t raise your daughter right because you’ve got no backbone,’ she said. ‘They treated you like dirt, and now you’re rolling out the red carpet for his mother?’”*
*”But Evelyn didn’t have to call you, Emma. She made an effort, didn’t she?”*
*”That’s how I see it. But Mum won’t budge. To her, everything’s black and white. If they’re the enemy, then there should be no contact. No gifts. No visits. But I wanted my daughter to have people in her life who care about her—even if they’re from his side of the family.”*
Now, Emma dreads another row. The grandmother who once helped has become public enemy number one. Her mother demands she cuts all ties with the past. And Emma is torn between what feels right and what seems necessary.
*”What do I do? Is it right to take my daughter’s other grandmother away from her? But fighting with Mum isn’t an option either. I’m on my own with a toddler, no support. I’m scared. But I’m tired of being caught in the middle. I just want my little girl to grow up in peace—not in some never-ending war between the women in her life.”*
