How can I make my husband’s daughter go and live with her grandmother? I just can’t accept his child.
I married a man who has a daughter from his first marriage. Her mother abandoned the girl and moved abroad with a new man, leaving the child with her father. Now I’m living in hell, trying to coexist with someone else’s child in our home in the quiet town of Shrewsbury. I dreamed of a happy family, but instead, I got a spoiled, rude little girl who makes my life miserable. Now that I’m pregnant, I need her to move in with her grandmother. But how do I make her want to leave?
When Anthony and I first started dating, his daughter Emily mostly stayed with her grandmother. I rarely saw her and thought I could accept her as part of his life. But after we got married, everything changed. My mother-in-law declared it was too much for her to handle and sent Emily to live with us. I tried to bond with her, but every effort crashed against her indifference and defiance. She ignores me as if I don’t exist. Worse—she acts like she owns the place, leaves messes everywhere, and runs to her father or grandmother with complaints about me at every turn.
Every day, my mother-in-law lectures me: “Be more patient, Rebecca! Find a way to connect!” Anthony asks me to be understanding, but why should I tolerate a 12-year-old’s constant disrespect? She’s not mine, and I refuse to be her nanny. I’ll soon have my own child, and I won’t put up with her tantrums. Why does no one discipline her or put her in her place? Anthony and his mother spoil her, excusing her rudeness and laziness. If this continues, she’ll grow up entitled and selfish.
Emily is careless and lazy. She leaves dirty dishes, scatters her clothes, and I’m left to clean up after her. Her behavior appalls me—she’s sly and mean, deliberately trying to provoke me. Anthony works late, so often it’s just the two of us. She’s not a little girl anymore, but they insist she can’t be left alone. Why should I sacrifice my time and sanity? I want to work, relax, live my own life!
My mother-in-law drops by for an hour, fusses over Emily, then scolds me: “Why don’t you spend time with her? Why don’t you guide her?” She truly believes it’s my duty to take on his daughter. The pressure is suffocating. If they didn’t expect the impossible from me, maybe I’d adjust. But now I regret marrying a man “with baggage.” Emily will never feel like mine, and I refuse to pretend.
Things are worse now—I’m pregnant. I don’t want to leave Anthony; I love him, and he tries to smooth things over. But I can’t keep living under the same roof as Emily. Her mother calls once a year, sends cheap gifts, but refuses to take her. Emily misses her, and I see the pain in her—yet it doesn’t bring her closer to me. Instead, she takes it out on me, snapping and sneering.
I keep hoping Emily will go live with her grandmother. It’d be the perfect solution—she’s nearby, she loves her, and she could take her in. But how? Emily clings to her father, and he won’t push her away. I’ve tried being kind, suggesting she spend more time with her grandmother, but she just scoffs. Maybe if I’m stricter, she’ll ask to leave herself? Or should I talk to Anthony, convince him to arrange it? I don’t know what to do, but I’m at my breaking point.
This pregnancy should be a joyful time—instead, I’m drained. I want peace in my home, to prepare for my baby, not waste energy on someone else’s child. Emily is part of Anthony’s past, but I shouldn’t suffer because of her. How can I make her leave without tearing us apart? I’m desperate for a way out.
*Sometimes the hardest lessons in life teach us that love isn’t always enough—sometimes, kindness means letting go before resentment takes hold.*
