“Loves Me? Loves Me Not? Or Just Herself?”
“Can’t decide? What do you mean, can’t decide?” Emily stared at her old school friend with such disapproval, as if she’d confessed to a crime. “If you’re torn between two men, you don’t love either. It’s as plain as day.”
“Maybe it’s plain to you, but not to me,” sighed Olivia heavily. “I like them both. In different ways. They’re each wonderful in their own right.”
“You just love yourself more than either of them, that’s why you’re stringing them along,” Emily pressed on. “Someone who truly loves wouldn’t play with another’s feelings. It’s dishonest. It’s cruel.”
“Easy for you to judge,” Olivia turned away. “Not everyone’s as perfect as you. I’m still learning how to love. I don’t have the experience. On Monday, I think the first one’s the one. On Tuesday, it’s definitely the second. By Wednesday, I’m back to the first. I can’t figure it out. It’s not funny. They’re both good men. And neither feels like a stranger.”
“Flip a coin if you can’t decide,” Emily muttered. “Better than this awful back-and-forth. At least your conscience will be clearer.”
“Thanks for the advice. Why don’t you toss your coins in a fountain for luck? And don’t forget—maybe you’ve never even had a choice. Or maybe there was no one worth choosing?”
“I could never lie like this!” Emily shot back defiantly. “I have James. He loves me. And I love him. We’re happy.”
“Oh, sure. Wishing you all the best,” Olivia smirked bitterly.
…
Three years passed. Emily sat alone in a half-empty pub, sobbing. A glass of lukewarm wine sat in front of her. That old conversation played over and over in her head.
“Never say never”—who would’ve thought she’d end up in the same situation? Now she was the one agonizing over two men. Her. The same Emily who used to hand out advice like sweets.
She’d been with Daniel for over a year. Everything seemed perfect. He was dependable, kind, thoughtful—the ideal man. And yes, he was serious about her.
Then, out of nowhere, James reappeared. Yes, *that* James. Her ex. The one she’d once dated. The one who’d left because he’d grown jealous, suspicious, nitpicking every little thing.
They’d broken up when it became clear—he no longer saw her as the woman he loved. Emily had become invisible to him. Everything was “wrong”—what she said, what she wore, where she looked. Then silence. The end. Months of loneliness.
And suddenly—a call. “Hey, how are you? I’ve got no one to talk to. Let’s meet…”
She went. Out of habit. Just to prove to herself it was long over.
But there was James—lost, broken. Jobless, with an ill mother, no one else in his life. And he talked. Endlessly. And she listened. And pitied him.
She didn’t mention Daniel. Didn’t say she might be happy. That someone was waiting for her.
James started texting. Calling. Inviting her out. They met up—innocently, at first. But then more often.
With Daniel, everything stayed the same. He was there. Caring. Bringing gifts. Gentle touches. Looking at her *that* way—warm, loving. Always.
But James… It was like stepping back into the past. Laughing with old friends, gigs, trips. With him, it was like being young again. Daniel didn’t understand. He was serious. Busy. An introvert.
Emily was torn. Her heart was torn. Daniel—the one she could build a future with. James—the one she still pitied. And maybe still loved?
She replayed the choices in her head. How to tell the truth? How to choose?
One evening, when she couldn’t take it anymore, she called Olivia. To apologize. To ask forgiveness for those old words.
“Forgive me for that conversation… I understand now how you must have felt.”
“Forgive you for what?” Olivia said, genuinely surprised. “I don’t even remember who I was choosing. That was ages ago.”
“Well, now I’m in your shoes. Torn between two. I can’t decide. It’s terrifying.”
“Do you really think love is about being ‘torn between two’? You don’t love either of them. But you do love yourself. And what if someone did this to you? Dated two people while claiming to love you—who would you pick?”
“No one,” Emily whispered.
“There’s your answer. No one. Because that’s what selfish people do. Emily, if one of them really means something to you… look at him. Imagine life without him. Picture him walking away. Never seeing his smile again, never feeling his hand in yours—”
“Daniel,” Emily blurted out.
Goosebumps prickled her skin. She imagined it. Losing those eyes, that warmth. His patience. His love.
And in that moment, she knew—she knew exactly who she loved.
Sometimes, to hear your heart, you just have to stop lying to yourself.
