My husband Jeremy has lately decided he’s the absolute centre of the universe, and now he thinks he can lay down the law for me. Not just any rules, mind you, but the kind that make my blood run cold. He’s threatened to divorce me unless I stop seeing my daughter Sophie from my first marriage. Seriously? That’s my child, my flesh and blood, my whole world. And he thinks he can just wave a hand and erase her from my heart with his ultimatums? I still can’t believe the man I’ve shared years of my life with would stoop this low.
It all started a few months back. Jeremy’s always had a strong personality, but I used to think it was a strength rather than a flaw—confident, decisive, used to getting his way. When we got married, I thought I’d found a solid partner who’d support me and accept my family. Sophie was just five at the time, and she took to Jeremy straight away, calling him “Dad J” and clinging to him like he’d always been there. I was over the moon watching them bond. But something shifted over time.
He started pulling away from Sophie. At first, it was little things—not asking about her day at school, no longer bothering with their usual games. I put it down to exhaustion—his job’s demanding, and he often works late. But then he got snappy whenever I mentioned her. *”You’re spending too much time on her,”* he muttered over dinner one night. I was stunned. Sophie’s my daughter—how could I *not* make time for her? She lives with my mum, Margaret, in the next town, and I only see her on weekends. Those visits are my lifeline, my way of still being her mum despite the distance.
Then came the ultimatums. A month ago, Jeremy planted himself opposite me at the kitchen table, folded his arms, and said stone-faced, *”I don’t want you going to Sophie every weekend. It’s getting in the way of our family.”* I thought I’d misheard. *What* family? It’s just the two of us—no kids of our own—and Sophie’s been part of my life from the start. I tried explaining I couldn’t abandon her, that she’d already been through her parents’ divorce, that she *needs* me. But Jeremy just brushed it off: *”She’s old enough to cope. If you don’t stop, I’ll file for divorce.”*
I sat there, gobsmacked. Divorce? Because I want to be a mother to my own child? It was so ridiculous I didn’t even know how to respond. That’s when it hit me—the man I’d leaned on for years didn’t see me as his wife but as someone to control. He didn’t just want to limit my time with Sophie—he wanted to *edit* her out of my life.
Other memories came flooding back. Jeremy criticising my mum for “spoiling” Sophie, scowling when I bought her gifts or paid for her ballet classes. The time he said *”the past should stay in the past,”* lumping my first marriage and my daughter together. I’d brushed it off, but now it all made sense. He didn’t just dislike Sophie—he resented her existence.
I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to pack my bags and leave tonight. I can’t stay with a man who makes me choose between him and my child. But another part’s terrified. Jeremy and I have been together seven years—shared home, shared plans, shared dreams. And how would I explain to Sophie that Mummy’s alone again? She already asks why Dad J never calls or visits. How do I tell her he’d rather I forgot she existed?
My mum, Margaret, says I have to stand by my daughter, even if it means losing my husband. *”You’ll never forgive yourself if you pick him over Sophie,”* she told me over the phone. And she’s right. Sophie isn’t just part of my past—she’s my heart, my duty. I remember holding her as a newborn, her first smile, her first wobbly steps. I won’t betray her for a man who sees her as a problem.
But Jeremy won’t back down. The other night, he brought it up again, even harsher: *”Choose me or your daughter. I won’t stay with a woman glued to her ex’s leftovers.”* I stayed quiet—anything I said would’ve lit the fuse. But inside, my decision was made. I won’t stop seeing Sophie. *Ever.* Even if it costs me my marriage.
Now I’m figuring out my next steps. Maybe I’ll consult a solicitor to know where I stand. Maybe I’ll find a better-paying job so I’m not financially tied to him. I’ve even been eyeing flats near Sophie’s town to be closer to her. It’s terrifying, but it’s hope, too. I want my girl to know: no matter what, her mum’s got her back.
Jeremy probably thinks his threats will make me fall in line. But he’s wrong. I won’t live by anyone’s rules—especially ones that force me to give up what matters most. I choose Sophie. And if that means starting from scratch? So be it. For her. For us.
