I’m not a nanny or a maid
I’m 62 years old, live in Manchester, and recently faced a situation that broke my heart. My daughter, Emily, and her husband, James, decided I should dedicate my life to looking after their daughter, my granddaughter Lily. I’ve always tried to be a good grandmother, but now my patience has run out. I refused to be an unpaid nanny, and it caused an uproar. I’m not a nanny or a maid, and I have a right to my own life too!
When Emily gave birth to Lily, I rushed to help in any way I could. I babysat, took her for walks, fed her, washed her clothes—anything to give my daughter a break. I know how hard it is to be a new mum, and I wanted to support my family. But over time, my help started being taken for granted. Emily and James began acting as if I were their personal nanny. They joined a gym, took evening classes, went out with friends, and dropped Lily off at mine with a casual, “Can you watch her? We’ve got plans.” They never cared if I had my own commitments. I’m retired, and for heaven’s sake, I’ve earned the right to rest and enjoy my own little pleasures!
Emily would call me in the middle of the day and say I had to pick Lily up from nursery because she had a work event, and James had gone fishing. I’d be furious, but I’d still go—what else could I do? I love Lily, but the situation was suffocating me. I felt used, as if my time and wishes didn’t matter to anyone.
Today was the final straw. Emily called, excitedly announcing that she and James were going to Spain for two weeks. I was happy for them, assuming Lily would enjoy a seaside holiday too. Then I learned they’d decided to leave her with me—without even asking! They just expected me to drop everything, as if I had no say in the matter. My blood boiled. I couldn’t stay silent any longer and told Emily I wouldn’t be their on-call babysitter. They chose to have a child, and they should plan their lives around that. Want to travel? Either take Lily or find another solution!
I asked why they’d made this decision without consulting me. Emily’s reply stunned me: “You’re retired—it’s not like you’ve got anything better to do.” It felt like a slap in the face. I told her I had my own plans—a long-awaited trip to a lakeside retreat with my best friend. They could take Lily with them or figure it out, but I wasn’t their servant!
Our conversation ended in a bitter row. Emily called me a terrible grandmother, and I barely held back tears. She doesn’t understand how much it hurts to hear that after everything I’ve done for them. I adore Lily, but I won’t sacrifice my entire life for their convenience. I’m not a nanny or a maid—I’m a woman who deserves happiness too. Now I’m left with a choice: stand my ground or give in to keep the peace. But one thing’s certain—this can’t go on.
The lesson? Love doesn’t mean surrender. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect. And sometimes, the hardest “no” is the kindest thing you can say—for yourself and those you love.
