Price of Deceit: How One Woman Chose to Save Her Family
I decided to write this story after repeatedly coming across confessions online from women who, to save their families, chose to deceive. Stories where a wife couldn’t conceive a child with her husband, but secretly had one with someone else—sometimes with his knowledge, but more often, without. The husband believed the child was his own. And the wife remained silent for the sake of “love” and “happiness.”
Reading these accounts fills me with pain and indignation. Life can be tough. Sometimes fate takes away our ability to bring new life into the world. But lies, especially of such magnitude, don’t just destroy families; they poison the souls of everyone involved.
I speak from experience. For nine long years, I struggled with infertility. Nine years of injections, tests, tears, hopes, and disappointments. My husband and I wanted a child more than anything. I watched each failed cycle take its toll on him, even as he tried to be strong for me. And every time someone close advised me to “quietly” seek a donor—”I mean, you’re a woman; your biological clock is ticking”—I resisted with everything in me. I looked at my husband and knew I couldn’t betray him with lies, even for the sanctity of motherhood.
A “friend” once told me, “Why put yourself through this? Get pregnant with someone else, and pretend it’s his. He won’t know.” But what if, I countered, disaster struck? An accident? Illness? An urgent need for a blood transfusion or transplant? The truth could surface. Then what?
I’d rather remain childless than deceitful. But a different path was granted to us. My husband and I adopted a little girl, Margaret. Never for a moment have I regretted it. She is our daughter, not through blood, but through love and heart.
And now, a story that still shakes me to my core. Acquaintances of ours appeared to be the perfect family. They had twins. He was kind, hardworking, and caring. She was beautiful and charming. People envied them. But truth, as often happens, doesn’t stay hidden for long.
One day, the husband received a diagnosis that shattered their illusion of felicity—congenital infertility. Astounded, he sought further tests, but the results were the same. Either those children weren’t his, or a medical miracle had occurred. Unfortunately, miracles hadn’t happened.
Devastated, he didn’t create a scene or break things; he quietly packed his belongings, left the home, the children, everything, and moved abroad. Word is, he now works in London. He has never seen his wife again. And the children? They learned the truth and couldn’t forgive their mother. They left to live with their paternal grandparents. The mother remained alone in a house that once echoed with children’s laughter.
The saddest part is the children never returned. They grew up, moved to another city for their studies, and ceased contact with her. Occasionally, through mutual friends, I hear about her solitary life. She’s often seen at the grocer’s, her gaze vacant, her posture stooped. Silent, even to those she once called friends.
I share this not from malice. I, too, am a woman. I know the heartache of not being able to conceive when surrounded by others’ children, feeling the void within. But dear women, deception is no cure. Lies are poison, slowly destroying everything they touch.
Thanks to medical advancements today, there are so many options—IVF, honest and open donor processes. Adoption is another genuine path. There are ways to find happiness without destroying others’ lives.
I’ve endured this heartache, honestly. And now, when Margaret calls me “mummy” and cuddles close in her sleep, I know I did the right thing. My conscience is clear. Beside me is my husband, whose trust I’ve never lost.
Ladies, if you find yourself at such a crossroads, please, choose honesty. Don’t betray those who love you. Better a harsh truth than a sweet lie that will one day ruin everything. And most importantly, don’t justify betrayal as love. True love doesn’t create deceit. True love is honest, even if it hurts.
Let this story be a cautionary tale. Don’t make the same mistakes. If fate denies you motherhood, it will surely grant something else in return. The key is to keep your soul intact.
