“Sorry I missed your birthday, James,” Richard said, quickly downing a shot of whiskey. “I had this accident with a kid on the road. I was working at one of the new buildings, got into my car, and just set off when suddenly, a boy appeared on my bonnet.
Can you imagine? Thank goodness I wasn’t going fast. I jumped out of the car and saw the boy was alright. I asked how he was, and he said he was fine. Just a little redhead, couldn’t have been more than six.
‘Where are your parents?’ I asked.
‘Mum’s at home,’ he replied, ‘making dinner.’
‘Well, let’s go,’ I said. ‘We should talk to her.’
He led me to his block, pointed out his flat, and hid behind me when we got there. I knocked, and a woman answered. She was beautiful—unlike anyone I’d seen before—but she looked worn out. Her eyes didn’t have much light in them, you know?
‘Excuse me,’ I said, ‘I really don’t want to alarm you, but I accidentally hit your son with my car. He seems fine, here he is,’ I said, bringing the boy out from behind me. ‘But do you want to call the police?’
‘No need for that,’ she said quietly. ‘This is the fifth time this has happened.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Michael, go to your room,’ she instructed him sternly. ‘Would you like to come into the kitchen? Tea? Or maybe coffee?’
Her tea was delicious, by the way. Infused with herbs.
‘I’m really sorry,’ she said—her name was Elizabeth. ‘Michael overheard me telling a friend how hard it is without a husband, and now he’s trying to find a dad for us by jumping in front of cars. You’re at least the fifth man he’s pulled this with. Gave two of them a heart attack. I keep telling him that I don’t need anyone but him, but he’s stubborn, just like his granddad was. Once something got into his head, that was it. But is your car okay? If it needs repairs, I can pay—no? Well, alright if you’re sure.’
And there I was, just looking at her, realizing I’d fallen for her. You wouldn’t believe it, James—it felt like the first time I was seeing the woman meant for me. Tired, in a housecoat, with no makeup on, yet I knew if I lost her, I’d be devastated.
‘I know how absurd this sounds,’ I said, ‘but maybe you’d let me take you and Michael to the movies as an apology?’
‘No need,’ she replied. ‘You see, Michael might get ahead of himself with ideas again.’
‘You don’t like me?’
‘Oh, it’s not that. You’re nice, but it’s the circumstances… it’d seem as if I’m purposefully using my son to find a husband. How shameful.’
‘Yeah, and I guess that makes me a scoundrel for taking advantage of a woman in a tough spot,’ I joked. ‘And now we’re doomed to hell for eternity. But, since things turned out this way, why not burn together?’
I can’t quite remember what else I said, but the next day, I picked them up, and off we went to watch “Transformers.” Then to dinner. Then…
Anyway, James, that’s why I’m here. We’re getting married in June. We need a photographer. Can you handle it? Look how photogenic they are.
Richard pulled out his phone to show a picture of the laughing red-haired woman with the boy beside her.
Now I’m sure: Cupid doesn’t have wings, but he has lots of freckles and is missing two front teeth. His name is Michael. And the surname? Well, soon he’ll get mine, of that I’m certain.”
