The Ungrateful Daughter-In-Law
“Oh, there you go, making faces again!” Margaret grumbled. “You could at least say thank you! All you ever do is pull those faces!”
Alice looked at her mother-in-law, barely keeping her composure. She was so fed up with Keith’s mum constantly forcing her “helpful” acts upon their family.
Today was no different; she had brought a cat into their home uninvited. A few days ago, some cockroaches had come over from the new neighbors. They had just moved in and were cleaning up a house that had been vacant for a long time. In an attempt to get rid of the uninvited guests, the insects mistakenly ended up at Alice and Keith’s place, as he had accidentally mentioned to his mother. But what did a cat have to do with that?
– Cockroaches aren’t the same as mice, why would we need a cat?
– Why? Everyone knows that cats eat cockroaches! – Margaret declared confidently.
– I’ve lived with cats all my life and never once seen them eat cockroaches! – Alice replied, shaking her head. – That’s not even the issue. Have you forgotten that Keith is allergic to fur?
– He can endure it for a while given the circumstances!
– No way, Margaret. You’re taking that cat back where it came from. If we wanted a pet, we’d get one ourselves! – Alice snapped.
– It’s not up to you! Keith will be home soon, he’ll decide.
Half an hour later, Keith returned from work. All that while, his mother rushed around with the cat looking for any trace of cockroaches, even though Alice had gotten rid of them the previous day and set traps to ensure they wouldn’t return.
Margaret couldn’t find a single cockroach but tried convincing herself and Alice that they’d just hidden and would surely appear at night, when the cat would be useful. She had even named the cat Whiskers.
Keith didn’t immediately notice their new furry resident. He took off his jacket and headed to the bathroom to wash his hands, only to step into something wet with his sock.
– Alice, did you spill something in the bathroom? – he called out, turning on the tap.
His wife rushed to join him. Spotting the puddle, she knew right away who was responsible.
– No, it’s your mum who made this mess!
– What? – he grinned. – The toilet’s right there!
– She’s found a new way to make our lives difficult! – Alice complained.
– What happened this time?
– She’ll tell you herself, hang on. But you should probably take off and burn those socks!
– Burn them?
Keith looked puzzled at Alice. After washing his hands, he peeled off one sock and sniffed it. The smell was unmistakably familiar, but just… ugh!
He tossed a cloth over the puddle, washed his hands again, and then his feet with soap before heading to the kitchen. His mother was sitting there, petting the gray cat, its expression rather annoyed.
– Mum?
– Son, I’ll explain everything! Remember you mentioned those cockroaches? Well, Whiskers here will catch them all! I guarantee it!
Keith listened, blinking, then sneezed loudly, and again, and again.
– Yeah, but while “Whiskers” munches on cockroaches, your son might die from an allergy! – Alice retorted sarcastically. – There’s a reason we don’t keep pets!
– He’ll survive it! – his mother insisted defiantly.
Keith sneezed once more, unable to endure any longer.
– Mum, get the cat out of here! Quickly!
– But son, what about the cockroaches?
– Get it out, I said! Now!
With a disgruntled click of her tongue, Margaret headed for the front door, shoved the cat outside, and returned to the kitchen.
– Well, then don’t come crying when you’ve got more cockroaches than dust!
– We don’t have dust to begin with! – Alice pointed out.
– Just be quiet! You never appreciate my help! – Margaret said, offended.
– And where did you get that cat? He’s bound to get lost! It’s clear he’s a house pet!
– Oh, he was just sitting near the entrance! – Margaret answered grudgingly. – I merely borrowed him…
Alice held her tongue, though inside she seethed. That was so typical of her mother-in-law. Snatching up someone else’s cat and bringing it to her son’s home. Eccentric wouldn’t quite cover it.
– Mum, how about you stop helping us out altogether? – Keith suggested.
Alice had complained about his mum time and again. She had a knack for vexing people. Not long ago, they had gone away for a weekend, and his mother decided to visit and defrost the fridge, claiming Alice never did it and it needed doing. She overlooked the fact that their fridge didn’t require defrosting, it was a modern frost-free one.
Well, she switched it off and started watching TV. She took out all the drawers for faster defrosting.
She watched TV and dozed off. She awoke when her husband called, asking her to make pasties for dinner. So, she figured the fridge could wait. She hurried home, made the pasties, and was so worn out that she decided to return to her son’s flat the next day.
Keith and Alice got back a few hours earlier than planned. His mother hadn’t finished her “helpful” work. She awoke with a pounding headache too. They entered to find the place reeking. The food had spoiled overnight.
The worst part? Alice’s mum had recently visited and brought over four pounds of smoked salmon. They couldn’t eat it all in one go, so they froze it. Better than letting it go to waste. Zudem, Alice’s mum Martha had assured them it would be fine in the freezer, as they did the same at home.
Alice was from the countryside, and her family still lived there, often bringing all kinds of treats as presents. Thanks to Margaret, those were now a loss: several pounds of salmon, and a few kilograms of other delicacies. Such a pity!
Alice nearly cried realizing how much trouble her mother-in-law had caused yet again. Her mum had been so thoughtful, and it all went to waste!
Of course, Margaret had a thousand and one justifications. She didn’t even say sorry. After that incident, Keith took the spare keys back without asking, but that didn’t deter his mother from her so-called helpful acts.
She now did everything openly. Like when she bought some Murray cod on sale at the local grocery. Keith loved it, he ate almost the whole jar. Alice hadn’t checked the expiration date immediately, it was past its date. They hoped it wouldn’t cause any harm, but it did, quite literally. Keith was sick for three days with a fever, they even called an ambulance once.
A couple of weeks back, his mother asked if she could use their shower. Their hot water was off, and she fancied a good soak. Keith had installed a boiler recently. Naturally, they let her. Little did they know she would bring her own cleaning product.
She shut herself in and decided to clean the tub. She didn’t immediately realize something had gone wrong. She didn’t own up to it, either. Claimed she had nothing to do with it, but Alice knew exactly who had ruined their acrylic bath.
– Why did you even touch it? – Alice protested. – I cleaned it before you came!
– Oh, I know how you clean! Just spreading dirt around!
Keith was upset too, but what could he do, demand his mother buy a new one? So, they had to save for a new tub in next month’s paycheck, while dealing with yet another episode –now the cat. Alice was at her wit’s end.
– Margaret, how about you stop helping us altogether? – She suggested earnestly. – Keith and I are grown-ups. We can manage quite well on our own!
– There you go jabbering! Such an ungrateful daughter-in-law I’ve got! You should be thankful for me! But all you do is grimace!
– Thankful? For throwing out smoked salmon? For ruining our tub? For poisoning your son with past-date fish? And those aren’t your only feats! Perhaps it’s time to stop?
– Does that mean you don’t want me visiting anymore? – Margaret feigned hurt.
– Actually, not a bad idea. We could visit you instead.
– Yes, mum, I like that idea too!
– You too? – Margaret glared at her son. – My own son, I didn’t expect this from you! Fine, you’ll never see me in your house again!
She got up dramatically, rushing to the front door, perhaps expecting them to stop her, maybe even apologize, but no one did.
After she hurried out, the couple breathed a sigh of relief. Keith kept sneezing well into the evening, they found yet another puddle under the bed in the bedroom, and Alice had to do a thorough clean to rid the house of all the cat fur. No matter, his mother was offended. But let her be. As long as she stayed that way in her own home, it was just fine.
