People wanted to see me broken… But I realized: I only have myself! Life tried to break me, yet I rose again. Life is a peculiar thing.
It gave me hope and then snatched it away.
It made me laugh, only to then drown me in such despair that my tears burned my skin.
I crossed paths with people who promised to stay, but vanished the moment darkness fell.
It lifted me to heights, then mercilessly hurled me into the abyss.
But you know what?
I survived.
Against all odds.
I fell — and got back up.
I lost everything — and found new meaning.
I was alone at the toughest times.
Yet that’s when I grasped the most crucial truth:
I am the only person I can rely on.
People wanted to see me weak. But I didn’t give them that satisfaction.
I saw the way they looked at me.
How they waited for me to break.
How they eagerly anticipated the moment I’d give up and lose myself entirely.
I felt those stares.
They were filled with malice, venom, apathy.
They wanted to see me pathetic.
They wanted to say:
— There you go! You’re not as strong as you pretend to be!
But you know what sets strong people apart from the weak?
The strong don’t quit, even when it seems there’s no way out.
I didn’t let them witness my defeat.
I kept moving forward.
It was painful.
It was tough.
But I continued.
Because if I break, there’s no one to lift me up.
Because if I give up, that’s the end for me.
I didn’t allow that for myself.
I believed in people. But I was wrong every time.
I trusted.
I loved.
I thought people didn’t enter my life by accident.
I was ready to share my thoughts, my dreams, my soul with them.
But every time…
Every time they weren’t who they seemed.
Different faces.
Different names.
Different words.
But inside — always the same rotten core.
I grew tired of painting them in beautiful colors.
I grew tired of hoping that this time it would be different.
Yet the moment always came when the mask fell off…
And there stood yet another traitor.
Another person who was never genuine.
And what remained in my eyes after that?
Not tears.
Not pain.
Just anger.
This anger doesn’t make me stronger. It makes me lonely.
There’s no room for tears in my heart anymore.
They dried up long ago.
What’s left is only disappointment.
I wish…
I wish someone would change that one day.
That someone would break this vicious cycle.
That someone would come and not betray me.
Not lie.
Not use me as a backdrop for their games.
But I know they’re far away.
Too far.
And I don’t have time to wait.
I don’t have a future.
I only have the here and now.
I don’t want to be someone’s shadow anymore.
I don’t want to bear someone else’s pain.
I don’t want to be used.
I want to walk my own path.
I want to be independent of other people’s decisions, opinions, promises.
I have myself.
And that’s enough for me.
Someday you will find me.
I know you’re out there.
Someone who won’t lie.
Who won’t run away at the crucial moment.
Who won’t betray.
You’ll find me.
But do you know what’s important to me?
That you don’t ask for promises.
That you don’t demand proof.
Just be.
Just understand.
Just stay.
And then, maybe…
I’ll believe again.
