There’s no room for her in my life, and there never will be
I once truly loved…
Today, I’ve decided to share my story.
I’m not seeking sympathy or understanding.
I’m not looking for support.
I just need to let out all this pain that’s been building up inside me for far too long.
I loved.
Loved like I probably never will again.
Loved purely, sincerely, deeply.
I trusted.
I believed I had someone beside me who would never betray me.
But life let me down again.
She entered my life suddenly, but quickly became its meaning. Four years ago, I met Kate.
It was by chance—just a coincidence, one ordinary day, one simple conversation.
But I felt she wasn’t just passing through my life.
We quickly became close, and within a couple of months, I left my old life behind and moved to her town.
Both of us were coming out of divorces.
Both had endured the pain of betrayal.
Both just wanted happiness.
I thought I’d found it with her.
I was convinced she was my other half.
But then…
Then something happened that I couldn’t even foresee in nightmares.
When the past returns, the present falls apart
We went to the seaside.
For the first time, just the two of us.
I was happy.
But unexpectedly, they reappeared in her life.
Her ex-husband.
Her daughter.
And a granddaughter, who I didn’t even know existed.
How did it happen they were in the same town?
Who called who first?
Who found who?
I still don’t know.
But when I saw the way she looked at him, how he seemed so happy, I realized—I had lost.
I gave them time alone.
Went for a walk, didn’t interfere.
But when I returned, everything became clear.
She gazed at him as though all those years apart meant nothing.
As if they hadn’t divorced, hadn’t hurt each other.
As if I never existed.
She left. Just like that.
In the evening, she barely spoke.
The next morning, she packed her things.
“I need to leave for a couple of days…”
And she never came back.
I called.
She didn’t answer.
And when she did, she said:
“I need time to think. Don’t pressure me.”
I didn’t pressure her.
But I knew:
She chose not me.
She tried to come back. But it was too late.
Two weeks passed.
I was just about accepting the idea that she wasn’t mine anymore.
And then she called.
“I made a mistake.”
“I thought I had feelings for him, but I realized I don’t. It’s just the past.”
“I love you.”
“Let’s start over.”
I was silent.
And then I simply hung up.
Because some things are unforgivable.
There is no more space for her in my life
She left.
And in doing so, she proved she wasn’t who I thought she was.
I don’t want to go through this again.
I don’t want to be the fallback option.
I don’t want to fear she’ll run away again.
It hurts to be alone.
But it’s unbearably more painful to be with someone who’s already betrayed.
I don’t know if I’ll find love again.
But one thing I do know for sure:
There’s no room for her in my life, and there never will be.
