My Pain: I Despise My Wife and Don’t Want Her Child
How do I move forward? My name is Andrew.
I’m writing this because I can no longer keep it all inside.
My heart is torn apart.
I’m miserable.
I feel trapped in my own life.
In my world, everything was decided for me—parents, relatives, traditions.
And now I’m living with a woman I feel nothing for but hatred.
Every day, I curse the moment I couldn’t say “no.”
My heart belonged to another.
I loved her.
The one I chose myself.
The one who made me happy.
Her name was Alice, and when I was with her, it felt like I had found my missing piece.
Six months of happiness.
Six months where I felt truly like a man for the first time and not a puppet in my family’s hands.
But happiness was fleeting.
As soon as my father found out about us, his fury knew no bounds.
“How dare you get involved with an outsider?!”
He refused to listen.
He didn’t see how much I loved her.
To him, the only thing that mattered was her not being one of us.
He decided I wouldn’t have a choice.
And he did everything to break me.
My brother and his friends tracked my every move.
And then…
Then they found us.
I Couldn’t Protect My Love
That day, Alice and I hid out in a park.
We sat on a bench, holding hands.
We thought no one would find us.
Then suddenly, there they were.
My brother.
And three of his friends.
I saw the hatred in their eyes.
They didn’t waste words—just lunged at me.
I remember falling to the ground, feeling their blows to my face and stomach.
I heard Alice screaming.
I heard her trying to pull them off me.
But I was helpless.
They beat me.
They humiliated me.
They crushed me.
And then they dragged me home.
I never saw Alice again.
I Was Given Away Like a Market Commodity
The next day, I was married off.
Just like that.
Without my consent.
Without my choice.
As if I was an object to be dealt with.
I yelled.
I protested.
No one listened.
My family decided they knew best.
And I ended up in a house with a stranger, a woman I didn’t even know.
A woman I never wanted to know.
I Became a Prisoner in My Own Home
I lived next to her but never saw her as a wife.
I spoke to her only when necessary.
I avoided sharing a bed with her whenever I could.
But then one day, she told me:
“I’m pregnant.”
And I realized I was now even more bound.
Now it wouldn’t be just a marriage.
I’d have a family I never wanted.
But fate had other plans.
One evening, I came home tired, angry, and frustrated.
I watched her wandering around the house with a scowl, muttering under her breath.
I snapped at her.
She snapped back.
I lost control.
I pushed her.
She fell.
And a few hours later, she miscarried.
You know what’s terrifying?
I feel no guilt.
No regret.
I’m relieved there won’t be a child.
Because I never wanted it.
I Don’t Know How to Move Forward
I live with a woman I don’t love.
I think of the one I lost.
I look in the mirror and see a broken man who did nothing to save his own life.
I don’t know what to do.
I see no way out.
But one thing I know for sure:
I won’t resign to this.
I will find a way to leave.
I will find a way to break free.
And then I can breathe again.
