I’m struggling to see a way forward, and my soul aches…
My life feels like an endless battle.
Hello.
I’m writing these words with a heavy heart. At just 27, I’m already afraid of what the future holds.
I’m exhausted.
Year after year, it’s the same: poverty, loneliness, disappointment.
Holidays come and go, yet I hardly feel them. Instead of joy, there’s just emptiness.
I try to believe that among all the deception, betrayal, and cruelty, there are still kind-hearted people. People who understand, who can help and support.
But as time goes by, hope dwindles.
I’ve forgotten how to smile.
Each day, I feel my strength dwindling.
Those who promised to help have vanished
I’ve heard many beautiful words.
“I’m always here for you, my friend!”
“We’re family; you can count on me!”
“Everything will be okay; don’t give up!”
But when it came time for action, those words meant nothing.
I’m left on my own.
I fight against poverty, illness, and empty hopes.
A surgery I can’t afford
Recently, the doctors told me I need urgent surgery.
My kidney problems are getting serious.
But the amount I need to raise is unimaginable for me.
I’ve been out of work for a long time. I no longer think about the future—only about getting through each day.
Deceit, betrayal, and lost hopes hurt most
It’s not the illness that pains me the most, but the people.
The ones I trusted.
Those who swore friendship and love but turned away when times were tough.
How easily people deceive… They say pretty words but do nothing.
How many promises have I heard:
“We won’t abandon you!”
“We’ll help you!”
And then those people just vanished.
I’ve come to realize a simple truth: in this cold world, actions speak louder than words.
The one person who hasn’t let me down
I’m not completely alone.
There’s one person who’s always been there.
My grandmother.
She is the only one who stands by me, fighting alongside me every day.
But her pension barely covers anything.
We pay for electricity, for medicine—and we’re left with nothing.
Yet we still need to live.
We need to buy food, firewood, to pay the doctors.
I ask for help.
I look passersby in the eye, but they just turn away.
Some curse, some sneer disdainfully.
Some even exploit my misfortune, like those who promised me a summer job at a resort but never paid.
Why does God test us so harshly?
Every day I wonder: why?
Why must those who’ve done no harm suffer?
My grandmother and I pray every evening.
We ask God for help.
But does He hear us?
Why does He send so many trials?
Do I deserve this?
I’m only 27. Don’t I have the right to simply live, to find joy, to breathe without fear of tomorrow?
My grandmother is an elderly woman. Doesn’t she deserve a peaceful retirement?
Why is it the reverse?
Why is she the one supporting me when it should be the other way around?
I still want to believe in people
Despite everything, I refuse to give up.
I don’t want to believe that all that’s left in this world is greed, cruelty, and betrayal.
I know there are honest people.
There are those who can help.
There are those who understand that kindness is more than just empty words.
And maybe, one day, I will meet such a person.
Because even after all I’ve been through, I still believe.
