I see no way out anymore; my soul aches…
My life is an endless struggle.
Hello.
I’m writing these words with a heavy heart. I’m only 27, and yet I’m already afraid of what lies ahead.
I am exhausted.
Year after year, it’s the same routine: poverty, loneliness, and disappointment.
Holidays come and go, but I hardly feel them. Instead of joy, there’s just emptiness.
I try to hold onto the belief that amidst all the lies, betrayal, and cruelty, there are still good people out there. People who can understand, lend a hand, and offer support.
But the further I go, the less hope I have.
I’ve forgotten how to smile.
With each passing day, my strength fades more and more.
Those who promised help have simply vanished.
I’ve heard many promising words.
– “I’m always here for you, mate!”
– “We’re family; you can count on me!”
– “Everything will be alright, just don’t give up!”
But when the time came for action, those words turned out to be empty.
I’m left alone.
I fight poverty, illness, and shattered hopes.
An operation I can’t afford
Recently, doctors told me I need urgent surgery.
Kidney issues are becoming severe.
But the amount I need to raise feels impossible to me.
I’ve been without a job for a long time. I don’t even think about the future anymore – just surviving another day.
Lies, betrayal, and lost hopes
The pain from illness isn’t the worst part; it’s the pain from people.
People I trusted.
Those who swore friendship and love, but turned away in hard times.
How easily people deceive… How easily they say pretty words but do nothing.
So many times I’ve heard promises:
– “We’re not going to abandon you!”
– “We’ll help you!”
Yet those people vanished.
I’ve realized a simple truth: in this cold world, actions speak louder than words.
The one person who hasn’t forsaken me
I’m not entirely alone.
There’s one person who’s always by my side.
My grandmother.
She’s the only one who sticks with me, who fights with me every single day.
But her pension isn’t enough for anything.
We pay for electricity, medication – and end up with nothing left.
But we need to live.
We have to buy food, firewood, pay medical bills.
I ask for help.
I look into the eyes of passersby, but they just look away.
Some people curse me, others smirk with disdain.
Some even take advantage of my situation, like those who promised me a summer job at a resort but then never paid.
Why does fate test us so harshly?
Every day I ask myself: why?
Why must people who’ve never harmed anyone suffer?
My grandmother and I pray every evening.
We ask for help.
But does He hear us?
Why does He send so many trials?
Do I deserve this?
I’m only 27. Don’t I have the right just to live, to find joy, to breathe without fear of tomorrow?
Grandma’s an elderly woman. Doesn’t she deserve a peaceful old age?
Why is it all backward?
Why is she supporting me when it should be the other way around?
I still want to believe in people
Despite everything, I’m not giving up.
I refuse to believe that this world is only greed, cruelty, and betrayal.
I know there are honest people.
There are those who can help.
There are those who understand that kindness is more than empty words.
And perhaps, someday, I’ll meet such a person.
Because even after all I’ve been through, I still believe.
