People wanted to see me broken… But I realized: I only have myself! Life tried to break me, but I stood up again. Life is a peculiar thing.
It gave me hope only to take it back.
It made me laugh, then plunged me into such despair that tears felt like they burned my skin.
Life introduced me to people who promised to stay by my side, but vanished the moment darkness fell.
It lifted me to great heights, only to throw me down into the depths.
But you know what?
I survived.
Against all odds.
I fell—and I got back up.
I lost everything—and found new meaning.
I was alone at the toughest times.
But that’s when I learned the most important truth:
I am the only person I can truly rely on.
People wanted to see me weak. But I didn’t give them that satisfaction.
I saw the way they looked at me.
They waited for me to break down.
They eagerly anticipated the moment I’d give up, lose myself completely.
I felt those stares.
They were filled with malice, venom, indifference.
They wanted to see me pitiful.
They wanted to say:
— Look, see for yourself! You’re not as strong as you pretend to be!
But do you know what sets strong people apart from the weak?
The strong don’t give in, even when it seems like there’s no way out.
I didn’t let them witness my defeat.
I kept moving forward.
It was painful.
It was difficult.
But I kept going.
Because if I break, no one will lift me up.
Because if I give up, it will be my end.
I didn’t allow myself that luxury.
I believed in people. But every time, I was wrong.
I trusted.
I loved.
I thought people entered my life for a reason.
I was ready to share my thoughts, my dreams, my soul with them.
But every time…
Every time, they weren’t who they claimed to be.
Different faces.
Different names.
Different words.
But inside—the same rotten core.
I grew tired of painting them in bright colors.
I grew tired of hoping that this time would be different.
But then a moment would always come when the mask slipped…
And another traitor stood before me.
Another person who had never been sincere.
And do you know what was left in my eyes after that?
Not tears.
Not pain.
Only anger.
This anger doesn’t make me stronger. It makes me lonely.
My soul has no room for tears anymore.
They dried up long ago.
Only disillusionment remains.
I wish…
I wish someone would change this one day.
That someone would break this vicious cycle.
That someone would come who wouldn’t betray.
Wouldn’t lie.
Wouldn’t use me as a backdrop for their games.
But I know—they’re far away.
Too far.
And I don’t have time to wait.
I don’t have a future.
I only have the here and now.
I no longer want to be someone’s shadow.
I don’t want to take on someone else’s pain.
I don’t want to be used.
I want to walk my own path.
I want to be free of others’ decisions, views, promises.
I have myself.
And that’s enough for me.
Someday you’ll find me.
I know you’re out there somewhere.
A person who won’t lie.
Who won’t flee in the most crucial moment.
Who won’t betray.
You’ll find me.
But you know what’s important to me?
That you won’t ask for promises.
That you won’t demand proof.
Just be.
Just understand.
Just stay.
And maybe…
I will believe again.
