“Yes, I did ask for money to look after the grandchildren during the summer holidays. My pension isn’t endless!”
This year, my daughter-in-law’s mother declared she wouldn’t look after the grandchildren over the holidays. Both my son and his wife are working all summer, so there’s no opportunity for them to care for their boys. They aren’t even close to a vacation this year.
They asked my daughter-in-law’s mother if she could take the grandchildren for at least a week, but she flatly refused:
“I’m not going to take on that responsibility!”
The grandchildren are school-aged. What responsibility is there, really? Feeding them and letting them play in the yard — there’s not much more to it. They’re not babies needing diaper changes or constant attention.
My own son grew up in the countryside. I used to send him to stay with my mother during the holidays. Back then, all kids grew up in villages while their parents worked, and no one thought twice about responsibilities because times were different.
So, my son called me, clearly distressed about being stuck with no options.
“They’ll end up cooped up in the flat all day,” he sighed.
“I can take them to my cottage,” I offered.
“Seriously? Mum, that would be amazing.”
“It’s no trouble. I don’t want them spending the whole summer indoors either.”
Naturally, my daughter-in-law was pleased about my offer. We don’t have the best relationship, but that’s beside the point. However, I made it clear to my son:
“But you’ll need to support them financially, as my pension isn’t bottomless.”
He was taken aback, as was his wife. They seemed to think I could cover all the children’s expenses over the summer. Do they even know how small my pension is? It’s unrealistic!
“How much do you need?”
“Not me, for the grandchildren. I’d say about £300 per child each month.”
My daughter-in-law smirked. She pulled my son aside and started whispering in his ear, but misjudged the distance — I heard every word.
“I’ll have to give half my salary to her!” she complained.
“And what else can you do? See another solution?”
“Maybe send them to summer camp?”
“Have you checked the prices? We’d need two salaries for that, and they’re still too young for camp. The money isn’t for her, it’s to feed and entertain the kids. You know how expensive everything is now.”
“Your mum didn’t have to ask for that much. She knows we have a mortgage, and I’ve only just returned to work. It’s not fair.”
“And your mum’s being fair? She wasn’t even willing to take them for a week, while mine’s ready to have them the whole summer!” my son snapped.
In the end, my son supported me. They gave me the money and left. Despite my daughter-in-law’s complaints about finances, somehow she managed to provide the £600.
We had a fantastic summer together with the grandchildren. They weren’t lacking anything. I bought sweets, toys, and even some clothes.
Every Sunday, a man comes to our village selling toys from his car. How could I say no? They’re small treasures but cost money.
Their parents came to pick them up at the end of August. And guess what? My daughter-in-law expected me to account for every penny spent.
“I’m sorry, dear, but I didn’t keep track of every purchase.”
“Well, since you asked for money, you should provide a report. What if you spent it all on yourself?” she protested.
“So that’s what you think of me, is it?”
“I just don’t understand how you could spend £600 a month when you have your own fruits and vegetables. There aren’t many activities at the cottage. Did you just shove a cucumber in their mouths and pocket the rest?”
“How dare you speak like that! Did you ever ask what they ate all summer? Not a day went by without meat! We went to the city nearly every weekend for attractions, and that’s not cheap.”
“I don’t believe you spent every penny.”
“My pension came into play too, if you’re curious. You can ask the kids what I bought them; I didn’t keep receipts—should’ve been told to save them.”
I regret my son missed that conversation. I didn’t want to drag him into our argument, as it would certainly cause a row with his wife.
My daughter-in-law scrutinizes every expense, thinking I made a fortune. I could have refused the money, but then the kids would truly be left with cucumber snacks and one ice cream a week. Is that the kind of summer she wanted? We’ll make sure of it next year.
