People wanted to see me broken… But I realized, I only have myself!
Life has tried to break me, yet I’ve always managed to rise again. Life is a peculiar thing.
It gave me hope, then cruelly snatched it away.
It made me laugh, only to crush me with despair so deep it brought tears that burned my skin.
It introduced me to people who promised to stay by my side, but they vanished when darkness came.
It lifted me to great heights, only to throw me into the abyss.
But you know what?
I survived.
Against all odds.
I fell, and I got back up.
I lost everything, only to find new meaning.
I stood alone in my toughest times.
And it was in those moments that I learned the most crucial truth:
I am the only person I can truly depend on.
People longed to see me weak. But I denied them that pleasure. I noticed how they gazed at me.
How they anticipated my downfall.
How eagerly they awaited my surrender, the moment I would completely lose myself.
I could feel those eyes.
They were filled with glee, venom, indifference.
They wanted to see me pathetic.
They wanted to say:
“Well, look! You’re not as strong as you pretend to be!”
But do you know what sets strong people apart from the weak?
The strong never give up, even when it seems hopeless.
I didn’t let them see me defeated.
I kept moving forward.
It was painful.
It was difficult.
But I kept going.
Because if I faltered, there would be no one to pick me up.
Because if I gave up, it would be my end.
I couldn’t allow that.
I trusted people. But I was always wrong.
I was naïve.
I loved.
I believed that people came into my life for a reason.
I was ready to share my thoughts, my dreams, my soul with them.
But each time…
Each time, they turned out to be different from who they claimed to be.
Different faces.
Different names.
Different words.
But inside, always the same rotten core.
I grew weary of painting them in vibrant colors.
I grew tired of hoping that this time it would be different.
But then came the moment when the mask would slip…
And there stood another traitor.
Another person who was never genuine.
And do you know what remained in my eyes after that?
Not tears.
Not pain.
Just anger.
This anger doesn’t make me stronger. It makes me lonelier.
There’s no more room for tears in my heart.
They dried up long ago.
All that remains is disappointment.
I wish…
I wish someone could change this one day.
That someone would break this vicious cycle.
That a person would come along and not betray me.
They wouldn’t lie.
They wouldn’t use me as a stepping stone for their own games.
But I know—they’re far away.
Too far.
And I don’t have time to wait.
I have no future.
I only have here and now.
I no longer want to be someone’s shadow.
I don’t want to carry someone else’s pain.
I don’t want to be the one used.
I want to walk my own path.
I want to be free from others’ decisions, views, promises.
I have myself.
And that is enough for me.
One day you’ll find me.
I know you’re out there somewhere.
Someone who won’t lie.
Who won’t flee in the crucial moment.
Who won’t betray.
You’ll find me.
But you know what’s important to me?
That you don’t ask for promises.
That you don’t demand proof.
Just be there.
Just understand.
Just stay.
And then maybe…
I will believe again.
