When she retired, her character changed. Accustomed to being in charge at work, she began applying the same methods within the family. At work, subordinates had no choice – they had to listen to her. But I had a choice. However, Grandma decided to resort to blackmail – either I followed her instructions, or I would be left without an apartment.
For as long as I could remember, Grandma had always been in charge of something. Her superiors adored her, while her subordinates had a harder time because her every instruction was extremely detailed. Nevertheless, when it came to defending her team against higher-ups, she could stand up for her employees, which somewhat softened her despotic approach.
She retired at the age of 79. It wasn’t due to a lack of funds but rather a lack of alternative activities. Her children were grown, and I—her granddaughter—was as well. She had no garden, nor did she have close friends with whom she could spend time.
The first few months of retirement passed peacefully. Grandma cleaned the apartment, took walks, caught up on sleep, and baked cakes and pastries. But soon, she began to feel bored. Although we tried to visit her as often as possible, each of us had our own responsibilities.
Eventually, Grandma started visiting us instead. At the time, I lived with my parents and observed these visits. It turned out that Mom, after 25 years of marriage, had “failed to learn” how to cook or clean, Dad was a “bad husband” because not all the shelves in the house were perfectly level, and I was “wasting my time on nonsense” because, instead of having my own children by now, I was still just studying.
After some time, I graduated, got a job, and my fiancé and I began planning our wedding. Grandma was aware of our plans.
My fiancé proposed to me, but we weren’t in a hurry to formalize the marriage—we wanted to wait until our financial situation stabilized.
About five months ago, Grandma’s sister passed away. She had been alone, and since we lived in the same city, we often visited her. After her passing, Grandma inherited her apartment.
Since my uncle had a young child and I was planning a wedding, Grandma quickly made a decision—she announced that she would give me the apartment. We were thrilled. My fiancé and I immediately started planning renovations and decorating our new home. Unfortunately, it soon became clear that things wouldn’t be so simple.
As the “generous benefactor,” Grandma decided she had the right to have the final say on the renovation. She disagreed with any of our ideas and imposed her own vision, which didn’t suit us at all.
This led to heated arguments. Mom tried to find a compromise, but Grandma refused to budge—it had to be done exactly as she wanted.
When she realized I wouldn’t be persuaded, she decided to use blackmail.
**”Since you don’t listen to me, I’m not going to give you the apartment,” she said.**
Mom suggested that I agree to Grandma’s plans and then gradually change things according to my own needs. But first of all, that would mean extra costs, and secondly, Grandma didn’t want to transfer the apartment to me immediately—she wanted to leave it to me in her will. This meant that as long as she was alive, she could continue to exert pressure on me—if I did something against her wishes, she could throw me out of the apartment.
Do I really need this?
I’m upset with Grandma, and she’s upset with me. Mom says I’ve complicated the situation and that I’m overreacting. But am I really? I don’t want to be a puppet, dancing to her tune. And how can I be sure that Grandma’s controlling nature won’t become even more overbearing? What if we’ve already spent money on the renovation by then…?
