The End! For 16 years, he belittled me, and I endured… Until spring changed everything… I never imagined anything could shake the morass in which I’d lived for those long 16 years.
I’d lost hope long ago.
When I was 22, I got married. I believed I had found the one, someone I’d spend my whole life with. Helen was everything to me. She captivated me, drawing me in with an inexplicable force. I was so blinded by her that even her oddities seemed charming.
Like her habit of flinging open the window in the dead of winter and pulling the blanket off me to wake me at dawn.
Or her favorite ‘joke’—making me twirl in front of our friends, as if showing me off like merchandise.
She made all the decisions for me.
Chose where I would work.
Where we would vacation.
Which of my friends I was allowed to see and who I should cut out of my life.
And I allowed her to do this.
Because I thought that was how it was supposed to be, that was love.
I was blind.
I believed a child would change everything… When our marriage began to crumble, I genuinely believed a child would save it.
But I was wrong.
Helen abandoned me in this struggle.
She didn’t care about my fears, my worries, or the fact that doctors gave us no hope.
She easily accepted it, having children from a previous marriage, while I was in agony.
To her, it became another reason to belittle me.
She blamed everything on me.
“You can’t even give me a child!”
“You can’t cook. Your food’s giving me an ulcer!”
“You’re not a real man if you can’t handle something so trivial!”
I felt utterly worthless.
I tried to fight back. Consulted doctors, took tests, underwent treatment courses.
But it was all in vain.
She broke me, and I tolerated it
Over time, I gave up.
I isolated myself, stopped communicating with people, withdrew from everyone.
I became a shadow of my former self.
I no longer recognized the confident young man who once dreamt of family, happiness, and children.
I looked in the mirror and saw a pathetic figure too afraid to speak up.
When I tried to protest, saying I didn’t deserve the constant belittling and wanted respect, Helen laughed in my face:
“You? Who even are you? You’re pathetic! You’re worse than a tramp in the street!”
She knew I had nowhere to go.
She convinced everyone that I was useless, weak, worthless.
And I began to believe it myself.
She told me that without her, I’d be lost, that I couldn’t survive on my own.
And so, I stayed.
But in March, everything changed…
I had just one friend left—Susan.
She had moved to work in Spain a long time ago but returned in the spring because her husband fell seriously ill.
And then he passed away.
Susan was alone in her house; her sons lived abroad.
I started visiting her after work, sometimes staying the night.
At first, Helen was displeased; later, she began making scenes, then resorted to threats.
“You won’t go there!”
“I’ll drag you back by your hair!”
“I’ll lock you in the house!”
“I’ll file for divorce!”
One evening, Susan looked at me and said:
“May God grant she files for divorce!”
We looked at each other, and suddenly I realized: here was my chance.
Susan offered to let me stay at her place when she went back to Spain.
Without rent, I could manage on my salary.
I accepted.
I left. I chose myself
Since then, I’ve been living in her apartment.
I wake up in the morning, go to the window, look at the old house I once shared with Helen, and whisper quietly:
“Good morning, Stan!”
I view my life now and understand: I’m free.
I’m no longer afraid.
I’ve started smiling again.
I’ve relearned how to live.
I look towards Helen’s house and mentally tell her:
“There’s always a way out, darling!”
I put on a clean shirt, step outside, and walk down the street, head held high.
I’m unbreakable now.
