25 Years Ago He Left for a New Life Abroad… The Stress and Anxiety That Followed Gave Me Cancer

Twenty-five years ago, my husband left for abroad The stress and worry gave me cancer.
Good day. Ive hesitated for a long time about whether to share my story, but perhaps someone will read it and reflect Maybe someone will recognise themselves in it, or another might avoid the mistakes I made.
I want to remain anonymous, but I need advice. Just another persons perspective.
I married for love
I was young when I fell for him. Id just turned 18, and he was 22. It was a deep, pure love, full of mutual trust. We believed we could overcome anything, that nothing was too hard if we faced it together.
A year after the wedding, our son was born. Back then, I was happy but not for long. Difficult times began. Money was tightmy wages were meagre, and his barely covered the bills. We lived simply, like many families, but my husband thought it wasnt enough.
Ill go abroad. They pay better therewell have a decent life, he said one day.
I begged him not to go. Told him wed manage. Many couples get through hardships together. He wouldnt listen.
I was left alone with our child.
Years passed.
I kept hoping hed come back, but he didnt want to. Said he could earn more overseas. That just a little longer and everything would be fine.
I pleaded with him to stay. By then, I had work, and my parents helped with our son. We couldve lived like anyone else But he refused to return.
With only one child, I longed for another, dreamed of a big family. But he said:
We cant afford it. Feeding one is hard enough.
Yet even with one, he wouldnt stay. Hed visit for a week or two, then leave again.
I raised our boy alonewent to parents evenings, sat up with him when he was ill. I never told my husband when the boy was sickdidnt want to worry him and he never asked.
Still, he didnt come back
If hed made a fortune, if wed lived in luxury, I mightve said, It was worth it. But no. The money barely covered the basics.
Still, there were loansfor the roof, the car, the new washing machine. Like everyone else.
More than once, I tried to explain that money wasnt everything, that our son needed his father, that I was exhausted but he wouldnt listen.
He lived there. We lived here.
Years rolled by.
Twenty-five years passed.
He came back.
But not with savingswith debts.
I sold my grandmothers house to cover some of them. He thanked me, said he loved me, that wed finally be together.
But at what cost?
Too late
Youd think this was the peaceful harbour Id waited for. My husband home at lastno more travelling, no drinking, no wandering Youd think Id be overjoyed.
But suddenly, I realised I couldnt breathe in this house.
To keep the peace, I had to erase myself.
I stopped seeing friendshe didnt like them. Said since he had no friends, neither should I. He never forbade it, but the way he looked at me killed any desire to go.
I stopped dressing up. He disliked bright clothes, makeup, high heels. Said they werent fitting for women our age.
I stopped laughing, stopped telling jokes, stopped dreaming.
I existed. Worked. Cleaned. Cooked. Slept.
Once or twice a year, wed go on holiday. Just the two of us. No friends, no company. Because he didnt like anyone.
And I endured it. All of it.
But my body couldnt take it
The grind, the constant tension, the lonelinessit crushed me.
I fell ill.
The diagnosis was grim. Cancer.
My world shattered in an instant.
I dont know how much time I have left.
But I know this: if I could turn back time, I wouldnt have lived this way.
Id never have let myself become a shadow.
Id never have let my husband dictate my life.
I wouldnt have sacrificed myself for the illusion of family.
Now its too late.
Our son is grown, with his own life. My parents are oldI care for them as best I can.
And my husband He says he loves me. That hell be there.
But my heart doesnt stir anymore.
I didnt live the way I wanted.
I was a loyal wife. Patient. Gentle. I waited for him. Loved him.
And him? He just lived as he pleased.
If I could go back
Id choose myself.
Now, all I can say is this: dont live as I did.
Dont put yourself last.
Dont lose yourself in a relationship that doesnt make you happy.
Lifes too short for waiting.

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25 Years Ago He Left for a New Life Abroad… The Stress and Anxiety That Followed Gave Me Cancer