15 people who have shared some colorful stories from their workplaces.
Sometimes a regular workday can turn into a real sitcom. You’ve got clients who misbehave, a few unique colleagues, or even your own grandma suddenly causing a headache for your boss. The characters of our article share their quirky stories about their workdays.
I decided to venture into business. I bought two street coffee machines. However, they didn’t sell anything. The only thing they had was a money slot. The sign read: “This machine doesn’t give anything, but you can give it your money.” It sounded silly, but when I opened it after a week, I was astounded to find a couple of thousand pounds inside. I have no idea why people did it. But there were drawbacks: the machines often needed repair as they regularly broke down. The repairs weren’t worth it, so I had to close the business.
One employee in the office frequently dozed off in his chair, complaining it was too comfortable for work. The next day he addressed the problem by turning the chair’s backrest to make it less comfortable. Why didn’t he just get a regular chair? I asked him that, and he seriously replied, “There’s no backrest to unscrew!” Wow, I work with such blabbermouths.
Back in the day, I worked with a colleague from another department of our company. He was assigned to us for a specific task. After a while, he informed my manager that he’d completed the task. However, upon checking, it turned out some aspects were done incorrectly. When the manager pointed out the mistakes and asked him to correct them, the colleague responded, “You only told me to do it. You didn’t tell me to do it right!” That smart aleck didn’t stay long at that job.
For many years I worked in a call center as a translator. One evening during a heavy snowstorm, which made it impossible for ambulances to respond to calls, I had to guide a worried father through delivering his wife’s baby at home.
I had a colleague who once disappeared for about three hours. It turned out she had locked herself in the bathroom. CCTV cameras caught it. She’d laid on the bathroom floor with paper towels underneath and had a nap. The poor thing was tired from three hours of work. She was, of course, fired afterward because one shouldn’t sleep on the job!
I work in a relatively small manufacturing organization. The director and owner was crazy about the guys. A third of all employees worked on the principle “I came to work, and that’s it.” And a few years ago, he brought on a deputy, a relative: at first glance, a vampy-looking woman. But the world has its wonders: she turned out to be a very clever manager, even in our technical field. Her character is strict but calm. In a few months, she cleaned up the team, removing all slackers. It’s a pleasure working with her, although she demands a lot; she makes me think. During this time, our organization rose significantly. We started paying bonuses, and work conditions improved greatly.
A customer, when I asked if she wanted paper between the slices of cheese, said, “It doesn’t matter; we’ll all vanish before you realize.”
Working with customers. They come and go. Some come and go without you even noticing. Some lift your spirits so much you smile all day, and then there are the odd ones. One day, an elderly lady came in, who had everything going right for her, but we were all wrong and couldn’t help her. As she was about to leave, she said, “Don’t be offended. I just needed to argue with someone.” And she left with a radiant smile.
I’m a young employee, and they make me work as much as possible. I always realized it, but I needed a job. There was a Skype meeting; I’m in the kitchen talking, and at some point, my grandma walks into the kitchen and hears me being scolded. She couldn’t resist and joined the conversation, saying it’s shameful for the boss to chide a girl for such peanuts. As she called him out, the man remained silent. Finally, about 20 minutes later, he called, apologized, took a third of the tasks, and said the bonus would be paid. When asked why he said he remembered his late grandmother and how she had protected him from bullies in his youth. He said we should help grandmas defend youngsters from crooks.
An office building in the industrial area. Out of 75 people, after several rounds of layoffs, only 12 remained. I’m pressed, running to the toilet, and as I head out, a colleague falls; I squeeze in, pull a stall – it’s occupied, I sit in the next one, and I hear the boss muttering in the adjacent stall, “It’s stuffed; half need to be fired.” Sorry, guys, if anything, I didn’t do it on purpose.
A client dressed in an Austin Powers-style suit ordered a pound of ham. The order took quite a while, and when I brought it, the client seemed to have fallen asleep standing up. After a few seconds, he woke up, took his order, and ordered cheese. When I finished his order, I noticed it was gone.
I worked part-time as a courier. The office had a communal kitchen. The fridge was stocked with whatever anyone brought for lunch. I brought a jar of honey. The next day a colleague and I went for tea and decided to treat ourselves—no honey. At that time, the managers were having lunch. So, I told my colleague, “Looks like we have people earning less than couriers.” Someone coughed, someone turned red. Someone informed the director—he was the one who did it, gathered money from everyone in the office and bought a box of honey.
We had a manager who was at retirement age. Apart from her, in the family of the retired husband, there was a cat. She had the habit of calling home every day from the office phone to the landline. When the receiver was picked up on the other side, she would ask, “Mittens, are you home?”
Worked at a grocery store. Before closing, a man came and asked for a liter of ham. I thought I misheard: “Maybe a kilo?” He said, “I said a liter of ham!” So, I racked my brain: “The ham salad we sell in cups?” He got angry and said, “You must be new here! My wife said so.” I replied, “Look, I’ll cut you half a kilo, and if it doesn’t suit you, you can return it; we’ll refund you.” He never came back.
On April Fool’s Day, I went to my colleagues, they were having coffee, and said, “Help me out. I poured it, added water, stirred it, took a sip. I hadn’t felt such confusion amidst friendly laughs in ages. Instead of coffee, there was buckwheat in the jar. Well, I wasn’t one to let it slide. Until the next April Fool’s, I made a paper copy of the wall clock, and during lunch, when we were all in the cafeteria, my friend swapped the clock. They all stood around after lunch break ended.
People ran around the cafeteria, some for the checkers board, some for the ping-pong table. And the boss comes in 5 minutes after lunch (he always did this), looks, says, “What chaos, why aren’t you working?” People collectively raised their hands, pointing at the clock – lunch wasn’t over yet. They climbed the wall to the clock, and it was fake. The boss was wise to it, caught me when I was sticking the clock up, and was thrilled, saying, “I won’t rat you out, but I’ll jot them all down in my little book.”
